Journey to Recovery

Before I had the surgery, I planned to write daily. Full documentation was my dream! However, life in recovery is different.   Recovery in the hospital mainly involved slow movements, eating and a lot of sleeping.  So between writing and eating and sleeping, I gave in to the latter.  Recovery at home is no different so I ended up jotting notes only on days when I felt like I reached major milestones.

Generally, the image below depicts how I felt like in my recovery journey - every day is an attempt to stand up straight. 

Image from Google Images

12 Feb 2020: Day 1 post-surgery

I woke up feeling so tired.  I was knocked out from 2pm the previous day until around 10am today. My husband said I look pale and took a photo of me so that I could see myself. I was yellow! Gosh.

The gyne came to check in. We were told that it was a successful operation - she took out all 5 of the fibroids, checked my ovaries which were good, and advised me to try sitting on bed for a few minutes the first day, sit on a chair the second day and walk around the room. 

I was starving but to be safe, I was advised to take clear liquid first. If I don't throw up, I could have solid food for lunch.  

First food intake post surgery: bland clear soup and tea with apple juice. 
I am obviously sad. 

Fortunately, I didn't throw up so I started another highlight of my post-surgery journey - feasting on hospital food.We were told by a friend that food in Mt E is excellent and that they have lobsters on the menu. Interesting I thought. Im used to hospitals having bland food but I guess this one is different.  My gyne said I could eat anything so I did. 

Lunch was lobster thermidor. You see the radical shift in my facial expression?  
Yes, I think I attribute a large part of my overall pleasant hospital experience to the food. 

I tried sitting up on my bed today but I couldn't and felt dizzy so I stayed in bed the whole day. My abdominal area felt sooo heavy. I realized how important core muscles are.  I still had my catheter on so peeing was not an issue. I also had something on my legs to aid blood circulation.  

The massager

Sleeping was a challenge. The nurse would frequently come in to check my blood pressure or give me meds.  I felt like I was woken up every two hours. My left arm was also swollen from the drip so they had to move it to my right arm. The injection was painful but it had to be done. 

13 Feb 2020: Sat on chair

Today, my doctor took off my drip and the catheter so I tried sitting on the chair. And I managed to do it!   It was hard of course. The bed had to be adjusted and my husband had to assist me. My core was numb so I had to use my arm to hold on to the bed railing and lift myself up to a sitting position while my husband had to move my leg one after the other.   Even sitting on a chair, I had to use my arm power to slowly sit down.  It's a good thing that I couldn't feel the pain on the wound when I move so that's one thing less to worry about.  It only hurts when I cough and when my husband makes me laugh. 

Me sitting on a chair with a proud smile on my face

Lunch today is grilled salmon. Hairstyle courtesy of the husband

Dinner is slow-cooked aged black angus beef short ribs.
I felt like I was in a hotel, not a hospital.  I usually skip the snacks because the main meals were already very filling!

It's also funny when everyday, nurses would ask me if I've passed gas or passed the motion. Interesting how those seemingly mundane things could actually say a lot about the condition of the intestines post-op.   

In the afternoon however, I was having a low-grade fever so the doctor advised me to stay. She is more comfortable about us being here. An infectious diseases doctor also had to check on me to make sure that it is not COVID. 

14 Feb 2020: Valentines day in the hospital

I managed to walk unassisted today so I opted to have breakfast by the window. 

View for breakfast

Menu for breakfast: Lobster porridge! The food is really insane

My mom came over to visit. She has allergic cough so it was difficult for her to come in.  The hospital doesn't allow anyone who have cough or any flu-like symptons.

Today was continuous observation of my fever.  Someone also came to teach me how to breathe - yes, how to breathe.  The clinical term is chest physiotherapy.  I had a bit of difficulty breathing  because of mild atelectasis - a common complication from surgery. Apparently, when the body is under general anesthesia, even the lungs are so relaxed that it sometimes forget how to do its job. In my case, a small portion of my left (or right?) lung collapsed so I had to do some breathing exercises to wake it up.  Good thing I didn't have pneumonia.  

15 Feb 2020: Shower day!

I woke up feeling tired but my temperature is back to normal.  I thought we were going home but we were told to stay one more day because I didn't satisfy the 24-hour no fever criteria for discharge. 

Dr Dharsh changed my dressing. My husband saw the wound. I saw the photo.  It was huge! My gyne used tissue glue instead of stitches so the wound was neat. It was like one straight line. 

Lunch was steamed lobster.
Yes, I did try all the lobster dishes they had on the menu

Dinner was lamb shank. I've gained so much weight from my hospital recover

I showered today! I felt so much refreshed but in the afternoon, I felt my fever coming back.  I felt hot although my temperature was only 37.2.  

My husband went home to rest. He hasn't slept properly in the past 4 nights. 

16 Feb 2020: Discharge day 

It's time to finally go home! 

Not before having lunch though.  This is Wagyu beef rendang

On the way home. Another test of my arm strength. I had to use my arm to slowly get on the car while my husband moves my legs inwards.

17 Feb 2020: The day after discharge

I've missed the lobster meals, the nurses and the heated toilet bowl in the hospital but it feels good to be back home.  

It's hard to go to the toilet though.  I had no bars to hold on to when sitting down on the bowl or getting up so I need my husband for support. And at night, when I have to go and pee, I have to wake up my poor husband because there are no nurses who could support me.  

When sleeping, I could only lie on my back so it tends to become uncomfortable after some time. 

19 Feb 2020: Out of the house

I went for a walk at the playground down the block today. Assisted by my mom and my husband, I walked 3 rounds then went to the provision shop across the road to buy coconut water.  That was a short walk but I felt my core muscles waking up. I also felt a bit tired.

The body is amazing. A week ago, I couldn't even sit on my bed because my waist and pelvic area felt so heavy but now, I can walk outside of the house. 

Having this surgery made me realize how important our core strength is. My core muscles were under anesthesia (as of the rest of my body) and was resting for a long time. So now, every little thing that requires core strength magnifies the amount of core muscles needed to do it.  Wiping the kitchen counter for example is not easy.  Or pouring milk in a glass. I couldn't even put the pan on the stove or fill the pot with water!

24 Feb 2020: 2 Weeks post-surgery

Woke up. Had breakfast and felt sleepy after so I went back to bed. 

29 Feb 2020: Today is day 18 post-surgery.

Hooray, my wound is dry! The doctor removed my wound dressing and gave me the go signal to shower without covering my wound. The only thing I have to do to the area is to apply antibacterial cream around it once a day, preferably in the morning.

It could just be psychological but after my doctor's visit, I felt a lot better. I felt that I could walk more so I did.

22 Mar 2020:   I managed to wipe my legs on my own! 

When I shower, I would usually wipe my upper torso and ask my mom or my husband to wipe my legs and my feet because I couldn't bend down.  But today, I tried placing one of my legs on the bed and bend a bit and managed to reach my feet! Yay!

23 Mar 2020: Last day of MC

Except for the discomfort in my lower right chest which went away after doing several rounds of deep breathing, I feel perfectly fine now especially in terms of mobility.  I can do simple household chores such as cooking, washing the dishes, and vacuuming. I still dont dare to bend though until I see my gynae on the 25th.  Tomorrow, I am back to work but with the COVID-19 situation, I will be working from home which is a good thing.  I am glad that I don't have to commute more than hour each way to work which I am sure would tire me out.

Overall, it has been a smooth healing journey. The pain were mainly caused by me coughing or laughing but other than that, I didnt feel anything. It was of course uncomfortable as it felt heavy and I couldn't bend down.  I would just sit down or sleep whenever I feel tired.  Walking everyday, even for only 10 minutes was helpful. I'd be impatient sometimes, especially when it will take me and my mom or husband 30 minutes to reach the park because of my turtle pace walking when normally, we would be there in 5 or 10 minutes. But I guess, the recovery process teaches us to let nature take its course, let the body heal when it's ready. It couldn't be rushed. 

My MC is done but Im far from being fully recovered. I feel like it would still take months before I could fully recover. My abdomen is still numb. It's weird when I touch it and I don't feel anything. My body has definitely changed.  It gained some battle scars. Proof that it is strong. 

My experience with Open Myomectomy

Exactly 14 days ago, I was groggy at this time.  I remember a flurry of activities in my room, nurses telling me that it's done and that they're moving me from a stretcher to my bed, my husband asking for pain reliever, and me trying to have a glimpse at the time on the clock while expressing the pain in my abdomen by contorting my face and whispering "pain" and giving in to the grogginess enveloping me. I don't remember the kind of pain I was feeling. I just knew it was painful enough to keep me from sleeping. 

That was the scene in my room at the hospital, a few minutes after my operation. It's called an abdominal myomectomy or open myomectomy - a procedure for removing fibroids in the uterus.

Finding out

One Sunday in mid-December, I woke up with a pain on my lower right abdomen.  Lying down, I could feel a lump when I touch the area (I couldn't feel it when I'm upright) and the lump would move when I would change my position. The GP downstairs suspected that it was uterine fibroid and recommended that I do an ultrasound test. The result showed 3 blobs. The first gynae laid down different options: 1) conservative treatment which means just leaving it there, 2) myomectomy which could be done either by open or keyhole surgery, 3) taking medicines, 4) a non-invasive but novel treatment called HIFU. Option #1 was not the best option for us since we wanted to conceive. Option #2 is definitely an option but the gynae wanted to see if we could do #4 first as she didn't want to touch the uterus as much as she can. Option #3 is not recommended since it could result in liver problems. Option #4 required us to consult another doctor who specializes on the procedure. 

One Christmas, New Year, CNY, a bout of MRI and 2 other doctors later, we had a clear recommendation - to do an open myomectomy.  My MRI showed that I actually had 5 blobs and they're too many and too big for a HIFU so the best way is to open me up and take out those pesky blobs. 

My wonderful gynae operates in Mt Elizabeth Novena so we had to do the operation there. My surgery was scheduled on 11 Feb at 2pm. A few days before that, I had to do a pre-op blood test for preparation. The test is intended to know how fast does your blood clot, your predisposition for deep vein thrombosis, etc. My results were normal. 

Expectations 

I haven't been hospitalized before so I didn't know what to expect from the surgery. I mean, in terms of the general procedure, I know what's going to happen but in terms of detailed processes, I absolutely had no idea aside from the experiences of a colleague who went through the same procedure. I intentionally had it that way because I didn't want to be overwhelmed with too much information.  I didn't want to be anxious. And so, I treated the surgery as something crucial that needs to be done but not something that should be worried about.   My husband on the other hand was very worried. 

A hiccup?

The night before the surgery, my husband and I went out for dinner to mark the significance of the event. While at the restaurant, I got a call from my gynae. Apparently, , the hospital is discouraging elective surgeries due to the COVID situation. An entire ward was closed off and some nurses were quarantined so they have a shortage of nursing staff. This is in addition to the fact that staying in the hospital means being exposed to infections. So my gynae asked me if I wanted to delay until the situation stabilizes. 

My husband and I weighed the pros and cons of going ahead based on our personal timelines and reasons but the final decision lied on me. It's based on what Im most comfortable with. Everything is ready. Insurance and leaves at work have been sorted out, arrangements with my mom to stay have been arranged, and most importantly, Im mentally ready. So we said we'll go ahead.   I was at peace with our decision and I trusted that we are doing the right thing. 

However, the news about the COVID was disconcerting. We were more worried about it than the actual surgery. So my husband and I mulled over the idea that we will go on voluntary quarantine to protect ourselves from the virus outside, and also protect our loved ones from contracting the virus in the hospital. That night, I prayed for guidance and strength. 

D-Day 

Aside from the virus situation looming over our heads, the actual day was very ordinary. I woke up at 6 so that I could have breakfast. I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything after 7. Breakfast was fried sinaing na tulingan, rice and tomatoes. I had to eat because that would be my only meal for the next 24 hours. By 8, I had to cleanse my bowel through an enema. 

We left the house at 10 and went to Balestier to see my mom before the procedure. Then we went to Novena church after. From Novena, we walked to the hospital. We went to my gynae's clinic to get the printed copy of the pre-op blood test results. Then we headed over to the admissions. 

The admissions counter at Mt E was very personalised. Each patient is attended to by a staff with counters separated by brown wooden dividers. It didn't feel like an admissions office in a hospital. I felt like a privileged client opening a bank account.   The admissions staff made me sign forms, reiterated the procedure that will be done, how much it will cost, checked the LOG from the insurance, what room will I be in and what's included in the room. We were pleasantly surprised to learn that our room was upgraded because our intended room category was full. The upgraded room had provisions for a sleeping bed (more of a couch) and meals for my husband. After about 20 minutes of signing and explanations, we were done with the admission procedures by about 1140. We were early so we had to wait before we were escorted to our room. 

We were not expecting to wait for about 1.5 hours.  If there is any negative experience that we had in our stay, it was the waiting time for the room. It was already 130pm when we were escorted to our room.

Our suited butler led us to our room. While at the lift, we were informed that guests are only limited to 2 at a time because of the virus situation. Visiting hours were liberal though as it runs from 8am to 8pm. 

In the room, the butler explained all the amenities. I felt like we were in a hotel more than a hospital. Aside from the hospital bed, everything in there looked like a hotel. 

The interior makes one feel like it is a hotel

The room had plenty of natural light and I had a good view from my room 

The fancy toilet

When the butler left, the ward nurse came in to check my vitals and asked me to sign forms I think.  My temperature was 37.6 - I had a low-grade fever. She also brought a set of hospital gown for me to change into.  She informed me that the operating theater nurse who will bring me to the operating room will come in a few minutes. While waiting for the operating theater nurse, I was worried. I had a fever. I told my husband about my prayer and the fever. Is it too late to cancel the surgery?

At 145, the operating theater nurse came and I was endorsed to her. It became more real. I'm really going for surgery. I was also very worried. I have a fever. Do I have the virus? Are we making the wrong decision by going ahead with the surgery?  But there was no time to think about it anymore. After hugging my husband several times, the nurse was already wheeling me to the third floor where the operating theater was. 

Pre-op me

To distract myself from an impending anxiety, I chatted with the nurse. She was from Myanmar and moved to Singapore after high school to do her studies here. She's been working in Mt E for the past 4 years. 

At the operating room, I was wheeled to ward 8. I saw my gynae who waved at me while talking on her phone. From the wheelchair, I moved to the bed. I later on learned that the ward area was called the waiting area.   In the waiting area, the anesthesiologist introduced herself to me. Again, there were confirmations about my identity, the procedure that I'm gonna go through, my medical history, previous surgeries, and drug allergies. She also explained to me that she will administer the anesthesia through an IV. There was also a question about my travel history. 

It wasn't long before I was wheeled to the operating room. It was less daunting than what I've imagined and saw on tv series and movies. As far as I can recall, there was a mirror on the right side where I imagine interns and observers could stay to watch the procedure.  In middle was, of course, the operating table and directly on top of it were several huge lights that were not yet lit. From the stretcher, I was slid to the operating table and that's when the action started. 

There were 3 nurses who were already there, plus my anesthesiologist, the other surgeon and my gynae. I told my gynae about my temp and the anesthesiologist commented how the hospital still allowed me to come in (I later on learned from my gynae that the anesthesiologist was really worried about contracting the virus because another anesthesiologist from a different hospital also contracted it from a patient).  Being the jolly person that she is, my gynae narrated in jest how I really wanted to go ahead with the procedure even after last night's call so we should go ahead. I don't remember who did what but someone took my blood pressure,  someone attached gadgets on my chest and back, and someone helped me put on a hair cap. The anesthesiologist started to insert an IV on my left hand and she was so good that I didn't feel the pain of the needle going in. I was trying to memorize the details of the room when someone put on a mask on me and said it was the oxygen. 

And that was it. That was my last memory of the operating room.

My next memory is a groggy me hearing someone saying that it's done and that they're going to move me to my room.  And then another memory is me seeing my husband and the nurses sliding me once again to my bed. And me in pain. 

It's done. I survived the operation and I need to sleep.