this week was a pretty good one. and im realizing more and more that im not very happy with the way my mind works if left wandering on it's own for a very long period of time. it becomes a drama queen, a moaning myrtle. not good, not good at all. but when i talk to my friends, even if it's just through fb, text or email, i become fine. i would go back to my relatively optimistic self. the self whom i prefer.
last tuesday, i read a short write-up about female relationships from facebook (nope, not one of those one-liners about life and love) and i thought it was pretty accurate. it says that keeping a healthy relationships with your girl friends is very good for one's well-being. in the process of talking about each other's feelings (which is a staple topic whenever women would congregate), more serotonin is produced. i dont know how accurate the description is but it says that serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well-being. so that explains a lot of things.
this afternoon, i went to a staff bonding activity organized by the school. i don't know anyone but consistent with my self-imposed challenge to go out of my comfort zone and create friends (because i feel that contrary to my previous workplaces, friendship will not naturally blossom in this kind of environment), i still went. and im glad i did because:
1. there's free lunch :P
2. i met people from our college and i learned that there are people who also crack jokes even while working. yey! (yes, im that shallow)
3. i became a part of a percussion orchestra and we actually learned how to play beethoven's symphony 9 (ok, just a part of it)
4. i got to know who the dean was
5. i felt alive. even if im an introvert by nature, i still enjoy the company of people.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
the unfortunate encounter with immigration officials in batam center
last july 1, my mother, aunt, sister and i went on a one-day tour to batam. since my mother and my aunt have seen most of the places-to-see here, my sister and i thought that it might be a good idea to hop on a ferry and bring the oldies to that accessible neighboring island called batam. the tour was arranged in singapore so we didn't had to worry about anything except hopping on that ferry and looking for our tour guide at the port.
our ferry left harbourfront at 9am so we reached batam center at around 10am (9am indonesian time). the immigration queue wasnt very long and there were about five officers (if i wasnt mistaken) manning their desks. it was a snake queue, so there was just one line and the person in front of the line will be assigned to the next available officer.
first in line was my sister, followed by my aunt, my mother and i. my sister was cleared quite fast. then it was my aunt's turn. she went to the same officer whom my sister went to. i noticed that the immigration officer was asking her questions but i didnt mind it because well, they do really ask questions. afterwards, the officer began looking around so my sister (who was already at the other side of the queue) and i (who was still at the snake queue) motioned that i was with her. the immigration officer motioned me with a "stop" hand gesture so i thought, "ok, maybe it's nothing serious". then my mother was directed to the next immigration officer. and me to the next.
the officer assigned to me asked how long i will stay in batam. i answered one day. she asked me if im working in singapore and i said yes. she demanded to see my pass so i showed it to her. after checking it, she returned it to me. then she scanned my passport and browsed through the pages. after that, she asked me again if i had a working visa or IC in singapore and i responded that i do and that i showed it to her just a few seconds ago. only then did she stamped my passport.
on my way out, i didn't see my sister at the spot where she was waiting a few minutes ago so i assumed that maybe, the oldies had been cleared and they're already waiting for me outside. so i passed through customs and went outside.
i easily spotted the guide who was holding a bond paper with my sister's (and other tourists')name on it so i approached her and told her that my companions are still with the immigration so we might have to wait a few minutes for them. she seemed pretty cool about it and i assumed that she might have encountered a lot of similar situations so waiting will not be an issue.but 5, 10, 15 minutes passed and my companions were still not cleared.
there were also another girl and another guy outside who were waiting for their companions. another 5-10 minutes passed and still, i couldnt see my companions from the gate so i chatted with the tour guide. she told me that these cases usually happen especially if the officers suspect that a particular tourist has the tendency to overstay. in some cases, the officers just simply want bribe. she said that usually, they ask sgd50 in return for a stamp. of course they don't say it directly but the practice is, handlers of groups would just insert the money in the passport.
overstaying in batam is not in our plan. and i think, it is pretty clear that two senior citizens will not have plans of overstaying in batam either. and it is not their first time to travel out of the country, their passports could prove that. so i was pretty confident that they will be released soon. at this point though, paranoia was starting to enter my mind and the story of chng reyes and her experience with immigration officers in bali
is playing in my mind.
a few minutes later, i saw my sister coming out of the gate, escorted by a man in orange shirt (apparently he is from the company where we booked our tour but i dont know what his business is being at the immigration room). my sister told me that my mom and my aunt were being held because the immigration officials are suspecting that they will overstay in singapore. what the heck! are they working on behalf of the singapore ica? the last time i checked, i thought we were entering indonesia so i was surprised that they are also problematizing with the issues that their counterparts in singapore are concerned with.
my mom and aunt arrived in singapore on june 10 and was cleared by the singapore ica without any question. they came to singapore to attend my commencement ceremony on july 9 and also to have a month-long holiday. i dont think they have to explain for that. my aunt is leaving 2 days after graduation so her return flight was booked on jul 11. my mom is using her trip pass which is essentially an open ticket hence she can use it anytime she wishes to. the immigration officers pointed at these as evidences that they might overstay. for what reason? for work? they are two senior citizens who are way past their working age. they are just in singapore and batam for vacation.
my sister clarified that we are in indonesia for a one-day tour which has been paid beforehand. when they asked her why are we going on just a one-day tour, she told them that both of us are working during weekdays so we only have a limited amount of time to show my mom and my aunt around. she told them that we do not need a 15 or 30-day pass because we have no plans of staying. we just need a one-day pass, if that's what they want to give. but they said no. when she asked them what could be done to resolve the situation (i assume other immigration officials would require a proof of financial capability, hotel/tour bookings, or any valid document just to prove that we will not extend our stay in indonesia), they could not provide any. hence, the situation is at a stalemate.
and it didn't help that they were not the most courteous lot there is. my sister said that the room was like that of a movie scene: the airconditioned room reeked of cigarette smoke and one officer was even smoking even with the "no smoking sign" on his back. they were sitting lazily and their shirts were not buttoned properly. these may be trivial details, but one could detect that professionalism may not really be their strongest point.
the tour guide was saying that maybe, they just need bribe. my sister agreed that it is pretty obvious, they just want bribe. but we do not want to give in. why would we bribe them?
my sister went back to the holding room, still escorted by the guy in orange shirt. i wanted to go too but i wasnt allowed. so i waited outside, hoping that those immigration officers would at least show some respect to two women senior citizens and finally clear them. but still, a few minutes after, my sister came out without my mom and my aunt. and with the immigration officers still not giving a resolution to the situation.
we could have opted for a port-to-port situation. they could have just sent us back to singapore if they wanted to. but on the otehr hand, we thought that it might reflect badly on my mom and my aunt's travel documents/history. they would have a history of being denied entry by a country. and we don't want to let those immigration officers to ruin our day! so my sister thought of just printing a new flight itinerary for them. but the nearest intenet shop will not open for the next 75 minutes! so what's the most viable option? yes, despite our utmost resistance to that despicable idea, we opted to bribe them. we were fuming mad because we dont want to do it yet it's the only feasible option that we have and worse, because do not want to comply with the game those corrupt immigration officials are playing but practicality says we have to!
so we gave the guy in orange shirt sgd50 and my sister went back with him to the holding room. after the incident, my sister recounted that she didn't dare go near them anymore because she didnt want to give the bribe personally and she didnt want to look at those faces. and it was really obvious that the money is what they just wanted because when the guy entered the room, my sister heard the passports being stamped in an instant. and shortly after, my mother and my auntie were released from the holding room.
we went on with the trip. we joined the group for the city tour, we had lunch, had a massage, shopped a little, and came back to singapore. we tried not to let that unfortunate incident bother our short trip. but the fact remains that such unfortunate encounter with those corrupt immigration officials tainted our experience of batam.
when philippine airlines announced the launch of its flight to bali, me and my friends were eager to go on a trip to that place this october. despite the slight paranoia brought by chng reyes' article, we still wanted to see the island and swim on its shores. but after my family's personal encounter with the immigration officials in batam, my interest in bali sank.
i guess for now, i'll scrap indonesia in my list first.
our ferry left harbourfront at 9am so we reached batam center at around 10am (9am indonesian time). the immigration queue wasnt very long and there were about five officers (if i wasnt mistaken) manning their desks. it was a snake queue, so there was just one line and the person in front of the line will be assigned to the next available officer.
first in line was my sister, followed by my aunt, my mother and i. my sister was cleared quite fast. then it was my aunt's turn. she went to the same officer whom my sister went to. i noticed that the immigration officer was asking her questions but i didnt mind it because well, they do really ask questions. afterwards, the officer began looking around so my sister (who was already at the other side of the queue) and i (who was still at the snake queue) motioned that i was with her. the immigration officer motioned me with a "stop" hand gesture so i thought, "ok, maybe it's nothing serious". then my mother was directed to the next immigration officer. and me to the next.
the officer assigned to me asked how long i will stay in batam. i answered one day. she asked me if im working in singapore and i said yes. she demanded to see my pass so i showed it to her. after checking it, she returned it to me. then she scanned my passport and browsed through the pages. after that, she asked me again if i had a working visa or IC in singapore and i responded that i do and that i showed it to her just a few seconds ago. only then did she stamped my passport.
on my way out, i didn't see my sister at the spot where she was waiting a few minutes ago so i assumed that maybe, the oldies had been cleared and they're already waiting for me outside. so i passed through customs and went outside.
i easily spotted the guide who was holding a bond paper with my sister's (and other tourists')name on it so i approached her and told her that my companions are still with the immigration so we might have to wait a few minutes for them. she seemed pretty cool about it and i assumed that she might have encountered a lot of similar situations so waiting will not be an issue.but 5, 10, 15 minutes passed and my companions were still not cleared.
there were also another girl and another guy outside who were waiting for their companions. another 5-10 minutes passed and still, i couldnt see my companions from the gate so i chatted with the tour guide. she told me that these cases usually happen especially if the officers suspect that a particular tourist has the tendency to overstay. in some cases, the officers just simply want bribe. she said that usually, they ask sgd50 in return for a stamp. of course they don't say it directly but the practice is, handlers of groups would just insert the money in the passport.
overstaying in batam is not in our plan. and i think, it is pretty clear that two senior citizens will not have plans of overstaying in batam either. and it is not their first time to travel out of the country, their passports could prove that. so i was pretty confident that they will be released soon. at this point though, paranoia was starting to enter my mind and the story of chng reyes and her experience with immigration officers in bali
is playing in my mind.
a few minutes later, i saw my sister coming out of the gate, escorted by a man in orange shirt (apparently he is from the company where we booked our tour but i dont know what his business is being at the immigration room). my sister told me that my mom and my aunt were being held because the immigration officials are suspecting that they will overstay in singapore. what the heck! are they working on behalf of the singapore ica? the last time i checked, i thought we were entering indonesia so i was surprised that they are also problematizing with the issues that their counterparts in singapore are concerned with.
my mom and aunt arrived in singapore on june 10 and was cleared by the singapore ica without any question. they came to singapore to attend my commencement ceremony on july 9 and also to have a month-long holiday. i dont think they have to explain for that. my aunt is leaving 2 days after graduation so her return flight was booked on jul 11. my mom is using her trip pass which is essentially an open ticket hence she can use it anytime she wishes to. the immigration officers pointed at these as evidences that they might overstay. for what reason? for work? they are two senior citizens who are way past their working age. they are just in singapore and batam for vacation.
my sister clarified that we are in indonesia for a one-day tour which has been paid beforehand. when they asked her why are we going on just a one-day tour, she told them that both of us are working during weekdays so we only have a limited amount of time to show my mom and my aunt around. she told them that we do not need a 15 or 30-day pass because we have no plans of staying. we just need a one-day pass, if that's what they want to give. but they said no. when she asked them what could be done to resolve the situation (i assume other immigration officials would require a proof of financial capability, hotel/tour bookings, or any valid document just to prove that we will not extend our stay in indonesia), they could not provide any. hence, the situation is at a stalemate.
and it didn't help that they were not the most courteous lot there is. my sister said that the room was like that of a movie scene: the airconditioned room reeked of cigarette smoke and one officer was even smoking even with the "no smoking sign" on his back. they were sitting lazily and their shirts were not buttoned properly. these may be trivial details, but one could detect that professionalism may not really be their strongest point.
the tour guide was saying that maybe, they just need bribe. my sister agreed that it is pretty obvious, they just want bribe. but we do not want to give in. why would we bribe them?
my sister went back to the holding room, still escorted by the guy in orange shirt. i wanted to go too but i wasnt allowed. so i waited outside, hoping that those immigration officers would at least show some respect to two women senior citizens and finally clear them. but still, a few minutes after, my sister came out without my mom and my aunt. and with the immigration officers still not giving a resolution to the situation.
we could have opted for a port-to-port situation. they could have just sent us back to singapore if they wanted to. but on the otehr hand, we thought that it might reflect badly on my mom and my aunt's travel documents/history. they would have a history of being denied entry by a country. and we don't want to let those immigration officers to ruin our day! so my sister thought of just printing a new flight itinerary for them. but the nearest intenet shop will not open for the next 75 minutes! so what's the most viable option? yes, despite our utmost resistance to that despicable idea, we opted to bribe them. we were fuming mad because we dont want to do it yet it's the only feasible option that we have and worse, because do not want to comply with the game those corrupt immigration officials are playing but practicality says we have to!
so we gave the guy in orange shirt sgd50 and my sister went back with him to the holding room. after the incident, my sister recounted that she didn't dare go near them anymore because she didnt want to give the bribe personally and she didnt want to look at those faces. and it was really obvious that the money is what they just wanted because when the guy entered the room, my sister heard the passports being stamped in an instant. and shortly after, my mother and my auntie were released from the holding room.
we went on with the trip. we joined the group for the city tour, we had lunch, had a massage, shopped a little, and came back to singapore. we tried not to let that unfortunate incident bother our short trip. but the fact remains that such unfortunate encounter with those corrupt immigration officials tainted our experience of batam.
when philippine airlines announced the launch of its flight to bali, me and my friends were eager to go on a trip to that place this october. despite the slight paranoia brought by chng reyes' article, we still wanted to see the island and swim on its shores. but after my family's personal encounter with the immigration officials in batam, my interest in bali sank.
i guess for now, i'll scrap indonesia in my list first.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
and we're back
after months in hibernation, this blog is in public view again (though im not sure if the public cares :P). its unintentional escape was caused by a slight level of dummy-ness on my part. and it didnt even entered my mind that a simple google search might help. well, until now :)
Friday, June 01, 2012
bad brain day
a few days ago, i read an article about bad brain day. it's that moment when no matter how you push yourself to work,write, or do what you should be doing, you just can't. oftentimes we would say, just force yourself to do it. but the author said that it is sometimes more helpful if you just give yourself a break first, to allow the brain to recharge. if you cant run, then dont run. go home and watch tv. if you cant write, then dont write.
this afternoon is my bad brain day. i have a literature review to write but i can't organize my thoughts. i have my notes but i can't write...well, academic stuff that is.
Thursday, April 05, 2012
updates
i have been watching movies for the past two weeks and im getting tired of it. aside from the fact that there were only a handful of good movies that i saw (some of the movies make me think "seriously? you set aside a budget for that?"), the increasing disinterest is rooted from the feeling of unproductivity. watching movies makes me realize that im doing nothing but to consume. i like watching and yeah doing so for a few days is relaxing, but doing it everyday makes we want to puke.
so instead of wasting my time watching movies, i decided to update my blog entries instead.
in 2010, i planned to write about my budget trips. so far, i have only done one: phuket. meaning, i have done so bad in executing my plan. hence, given the amount of free time i have (A LOT!), i vow to write about my other trips. i hope, i'll do better this time.
so here's the list:
san juan, batangas (feb 2010)
san juan, la union (apr 2010)
sta. ana, cagayan (may 2010)
boracay, aklan (may-jun 2010)
cebu (jun 2010)
phuket (dec 2010) - DONE
kuala lumpur (jan 2011)
new zealand (may 2011)
ho chi minh (dec 2011)
so instead of wasting my time watching movies, i decided to update my blog entries instead.
in 2010, i planned to write about my budget trips. so far, i have only done one: phuket. meaning, i have done so bad in executing my plan. hence, given the amount of free time i have (A LOT!), i vow to write about my other trips. i hope, i'll do better this time.
so here's the list:
san juan, batangas (feb 2010)
san juan, la union (apr 2010)
sta. ana, cagayan (may 2010)
boracay, aklan (may-jun 2010)
cebu (jun 2010)
phuket (dec 2010) - DONE
kuala lumpur (jan 2011)
new zealand (may 2011)
ho chi minh (dec 2011)
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
snippets of bumhood
it's been six weeks since i was offered the job. and i know it will take this amount of time, or probably longer, to have my papers processed and approved. but honestly, i am slowly losing my patience. i am even doubting whether i made the right choice or not. had i accepted the other school's offer, i should have been working part-time by now. but i've already made by choice so i guess i just have to wait and see.
yesterday, i felt so low because i am no longer enjoying the unproductive state that i am in. before moving here, i have been working full-time for the past 8 years with the last 4 years spent on juggling a 5.5-day workweek and part-time grad school which drives my schedule crazy at times. while my schedule loosened up a bit when i did full-time school here, essays would still require me to at the library by 8am and produce pages of work about a particular topic. hence, idle time was then a luxury which i looked forward to. but now, idle time is becoming a torture. i've read books, watched movies, watched tv shows, surfed aimlessly, cleaned the house, washed clothes and ironed them, etc etc. but doing such everyday makes me bored. i feel like im not doing myself any justice. so i opt to writing instead. for i feel that at least when i write, im producing something instead of just consuming madly.
and speaking of my low moment yesterday, i was bent on updating my status with a whine that reads something like "it's been 6 weeks and im slowly losing my patience" (yeah, something like the opening line of this entry) but upon opening my fb account, i saw new photos of my nephew eric and a peak-a-boo video of my niece gabby which brightened up my day. ahh...kids and family :) they never fail to bring a smile on my face. and ok, a message from him also helped :)
======
patty laurel was talking about kindness today and i agree with her. being kind is tough, it's always a challenge. it's easier to become rational than to be kind-hearted. when i was younger,i could say that i had a kind heart. i believed that everyone has a good heart, that people do not-so-good things because of their love for their families. but as i grew older, im not sure if i still have that belief. sometimes i feel that some people are just...mean. yes, i could say that i've matured. i learned a lot of things about life, about people. but simultaneous with the learning is the prejudice because of the human tendency to generalize. and i want to shed that off. i wish i could be more kind.
======
when i opened up my school email, i saw a mail that details my department's "housekeeping" chores,i.e. professors' schedule for bringing out the plants :) i find it nice.
yesterday, i felt so low because i am no longer enjoying the unproductive state that i am in. before moving here, i have been working full-time for the past 8 years with the last 4 years spent on juggling a 5.5-day workweek and part-time grad school which drives my schedule crazy at times. while my schedule loosened up a bit when i did full-time school here, essays would still require me to at the library by 8am and produce pages of work about a particular topic. hence, idle time was then a luxury which i looked forward to. but now, idle time is becoming a torture. i've read books, watched movies, watched tv shows, surfed aimlessly, cleaned the house, washed clothes and ironed them, etc etc. but doing such everyday makes me bored. i feel like im not doing myself any justice. so i opt to writing instead. for i feel that at least when i write, im producing something instead of just consuming madly.
and speaking of my low moment yesterday, i was bent on updating my status with a whine that reads something like "it's been 6 weeks and im slowly losing my patience" (yeah, something like the opening line of this entry) but upon opening my fb account, i saw new photos of my nephew eric and a peak-a-boo video of my niece gabby which brightened up my day. ahh...kids and family :) they never fail to bring a smile on my face. and ok, a message from him also helped :)
======
patty laurel was talking about kindness today and i agree with her. being kind is tough, it's always a challenge. it's easier to become rational than to be kind-hearted. when i was younger,i could say that i had a kind heart. i believed that everyone has a good heart, that people do not-so-good things because of their love for their families. but as i grew older, im not sure if i still have that belief. sometimes i feel that some people are just...mean. yes, i could say that i've matured. i learned a lot of things about life, about people. but simultaneous with the learning is the prejudice because of the human tendency to generalize. and i want to shed that off. i wish i could be more kind.
======
when i opened up my school email, i saw a mail that details my department's "housekeeping" chores,i.e. professors' schedule for bringing out the plants :) i find it nice.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
life is good
after weeks of sending my CV to different companies, i finally got an offer. thank God. hence last week was the first week after december when i can just relax, meet up with friends and have a good time.
thursday was date with friends night. shi ya came back from china so we went out for dinner with most of the gang. tried out 15 min cafe, a western resto with cool interiors. the food was not bad but for me, the charm of the place lie in its wooden benches and huge black and white solo portraits of people laughing which created a warm and relaxed atmosphere. perfect for group of friends who want to hang out.
for friday, uncle and i went to see a 2-hour, 1920's silent film. it was an adaptation of charles dickens' "our mutual friend". ive seen a silent film before but it was just a short one and i remember clearly that the movie ended without me understanding what it was about. so it was surprising that i actually enjoyed it. i thought that i was gonna fall asleep in the middle but i didnt. yes, it was still a bit confusing because there are no dialogues. but it keeps your mind working because it keeps you guessing. after the film, we knew why there was some confusion. about 50% of the tape (or reel?) got lost so what we saw was an incomplete, restored version of the film. but still, it was good. plus the live scoring helped a lot. cool night.
saturday, i became one of the boys. again. kisho, nem and i went to clarke quay because they havent been to the place. we had dinner with them having a mug of beer. then while having our one-dollar ice cream, we walked towards merlion park where kisho had his "touristy" photo taken. walked farther towards marina bay area to see the digital kites up close but ended up sitting at the steel bench near fullerton while staring at the stars and exchanging childhood stories.
indeed, life is good.
saturday, i became one of the boys. again. kisho, nem and i went to clarke quay because they havent been to the place. we had dinner with them having a mug of beer. then while having our one-dollar ice cream, we walked towards merlion park where kisho had his "touristy" photo taken. walked farther towards marina bay area to see the digital kites up close but ended up sitting at the steel bench near fullerton while staring at the stars and exchanging childhood stories.
indeed, life is good.
Saturday, February 04, 2012
in the mood
met up with mitchie for the job fair yesterday. also got the letters from the prof. and today, got the letters from one of the bosses. full hunter mode on!
and saw this video from dapattylaurel.blogspot.com at sabi nga ni kris aquino, love love love!
i know i had to blog about it so that i can look back at it whenever im down.
and saw this video from dapattylaurel.blogspot.com at sabi nga ni kris aquino, love love love!
i know i had to blog about it so that i can look back at it whenever im down.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
pebrero
just because it's february. and i wana be mushy.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
facebook crisis
im thinking of quitting facebook. if im going to deactivate my account, this would be the shortest-lived account i have online. i just started in 2009 or 2010 i think.
being on facebook everyday, i think i've reached that point when i think im getting too much information from people already. information that i am not even sure i want to know.
from a medium of connecting with friends and family members, im afraid it is turning out to be the biggest vanity project there is on earth. and im an accomplice.
i think i want to go back to sending an email or a text to someone when i want to know how s/he is doing. or maybe writing a longer entry to express my thoughts instead of typing a 2-liner status that is meant to elicit likes and comments from people. i think i want to go through the ordeal of choosing the best picture to post and thinking of good captions instead of carelessly posting all pictures just to brag that "hey, i have been to this or that place for x number of days".
i dont know. maybe im just getting too old for it.
being on facebook everyday, i think i've reached that point when i think im getting too much information from people already. information that i am not even sure i want to know.
from a medium of connecting with friends and family members, im afraid it is turning out to be the biggest vanity project there is on earth. and im an accomplice.
i think i want to go back to sending an email or a text to someone when i want to know how s/he is doing. or maybe writing a longer entry to express my thoughts instead of typing a 2-liner status that is meant to elicit likes and comments from people. i think i want to go through the ordeal of choosing the best picture to post and thinking of good captions instead of carelessly posting all pictures just to brag that "hey, i have been to this or that place for x number of days".
i dont know. maybe im just getting too old for it.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
threshing out
what do you when your most important folder is lost?
im currently looking for a job. and to organize my files, i have created a folder solely dedicated to my job hunting documents. in that folder are my CVs customized according to the position I have applied for, summaries of job descriptions needed for my accounts in various job search portals, scanned ID pics, etc.
but when I checked my mobile disk just a few minutes ago, i can no longer find my folder! i felt like crying. it was just there yesterday. yes, i have printed copies of my CVs. and yes, I haven't deleted the emails I sent to various companies. in fact, with my printed CV and application letters sent through email still in my possession, that folder is pretty much disposable. but i guess its essence is not just because of the files it houses. in my month-long job-hunting expedition, that folder has become my security blanket. everything that i need for my current job-hunting project is there.
it brings me back memories of our house transfer last year. when we moved to my brother's place, we had to dispose a lot of our belongings from our tiny apartment. at first, it was hard to let them go. but when you make sense of it, it became easier. what would you need old notebooks, outdated textbooks, unused clothes, spare blankets and pillowcases, empty canisters, etc etc for? nothing. they were just kept because they were cute. or because of the idea that one day, they may be needed. or maybe because of the sentimental value. but are they really important? no. will life stop if they are disposed of? no.
as such, the purging exercise became a trigger point for reflection. what does one need in life? do i really need a lot of possessions? what will i do with them if i die? they may have been important before but they will inevitably become disposables at some point. so what is really important in life?
is the lost of my folder a nudge to make me realize what is important at this point?
or should i look at it as a foreboding occurrence? maybe i have to delete it soon anyway. now that thought is more inspiring.
it's funny how a trivial thing can spark my crazy thoughts.
im currently looking for a job. and to organize my files, i have created a folder solely dedicated to my job hunting documents. in that folder are my CVs customized according to the position I have applied for, summaries of job descriptions needed for my accounts in various job search portals, scanned ID pics, etc.
but when I checked my mobile disk just a few minutes ago, i can no longer find my folder! i felt like crying. it was just there yesterday. yes, i have printed copies of my CVs. and yes, I haven't deleted the emails I sent to various companies. in fact, with my printed CV and application letters sent through email still in my possession, that folder is pretty much disposable. but i guess its essence is not just because of the files it houses. in my month-long job-hunting expedition, that folder has become my security blanket. everything that i need for my current job-hunting project is there.
it brings me back memories of our house transfer last year. when we moved to my brother's place, we had to dispose a lot of our belongings from our tiny apartment. at first, it was hard to let them go. but when you make sense of it, it became easier. what would you need old notebooks, outdated textbooks, unused clothes, spare blankets and pillowcases, empty canisters, etc etc for? nothing. they were just kept because they were cute. or because of the idea that one day, they may be needed. or maybe because of the sentimental value. but are they really important? no. will life stop if they are disposed of? no.
as such, the purging exercise became a trigger point for reflection. what does one need in life? do i really need a lot of possessions? what will i do with them if i die? they may have been important before but they will inevitably become disposables at some point. so what is really important in life?
is the lost of my folder a nudge to make me realize what is important at this point?
or should i look at it as a foreboding occurrence? maybe i have to delete it soon anyway. now that thought is more inspiring.
it's funny how a trivial thing can spark my crazy thoughts.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
dose of inspiration
"Dear Gi,
Thanks for your letter. I'm always happy to hear from my students about how my teaching has affected their lives. I will probably never receive another letter like that from a student since I am finally retiring from forty years of teaching in June this year.
You are a very talented person and I can sense that you will have a bright future. But wherever you may end up living and working, do not forget to give something back to the Inang Bayan that nurtured you."
For all teachers, students and Filipinos abroad, may this inspire you as well.
Thanks for your letter. I'm always happy to hear from my students about how my teaching has affected their lives. I will probably never receive another letter like that from a student since I am finally retiring from forty years of teaching in June this year.
You are a very talented person and I can sense that you will have a bright future. But wherever you may end up living and working, do not forget to give something back to the Inang Bayan that nurtured you."
For all teachers, students and Filipinos abroad, may this inspire you as well.
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
cultural exchanges
note: the dialogues are based on what i remember and may not be 100% accurate
ang alamat ng pagkaing kung tawagin ay "krep"(of crepes and crabs)
uncle: so what do you feel like eating?
me: im not very hungry. hmm...how about some "krep"?
uncle: "krep"? i dont know. it's so troublesome to eat.
me: huh? you just use your fork and knife to eat it. it's easier than eating with chopsticks!
uncle: of course not! eating with chopsticks is easier.
me: that's because it's natural for you to eat using chopsticks.
(after a few more minutes of discussion and looking around for a place to eat)
uncle: there are no good "krep" places here. the best ones are far from the city.
me: oh its ok. im sure we can find it in dessert places or french restaurants here.
uncle: no you wont!
me: huh? back home, i can find it in those places.
uncle: are you sure?
me: yes.
(after walking some more)
me: ok. what's the nearest thing to "krep". hmm...waffles?
uncle: waffle? how is that near to "krep"?
me: wait, what kind of "krep" are you talking about?
uncle: what kind of "krep" are you talking about?
me: the one that looks like a thin pancake with some fruit fillings and ice cream on top?
uncle: oh you mean crepe? i was referring to crab!
me: oh, we pronounce it as krep. how do you pronounce it?
uncle: kreyp.
laughter ensued...
buko as dessert
kim invited anne and i to a pre-christmas dinner at her home and i brought some buko pandan for dessert. glad kim and her husband loved it!
it was interesting to learn that having fresh young coconut as a dessert ingredient is foreign to them. yes, they used it for coconut cream/milk-based dishes but not for dessert.
itlog na maalat
in one of our dinners, we had salted egg frog legs. based from its taste, it seems like the frog legs were dipped in salted egg-based batter before it was deep-fried.
i blurted out that we usually have salted egg with tomatoes for breakfast.
classmate: so how do you cook the salted egg?
me: hard-boiled, and then we mix it with tomatoes
classmate: how do you cook the tomatoes?
me: oh, we eat it fresh. we boil the egg first, remove it from the shell and slice it into small pieces. then we mix it with sliced fresh tomatoes, and voila, breakfast! it goes well with fried rice.
classmate: oh nice. i have to try that.
and more exchanges
one classmate shared that she usually scoops peanut butter and coats it with milk powder
another said that she usually mixes milo with condensed milk
and i brought classic polvoron from house of polvoron and they liked it
if benetton has united colors, we have united taste buds :)
ang alamat ng pagkaing kung tawagin ay "krep"(of crepes and crabs)
uncle: so what do you feel like eating?
me: im not very hungry. hmm...how about some "krep"?
uncle: "krep"? i dont know. it's so troublesome to eat.
me: huh? you just use your fork and knife to eat it. it's easier than eating with chopsticks!
uncle: of course not! eating with chopsticks is easier.
me: that's because it's natural for you to eat using chopsticks.
(after a few more minutes of discussion and looking around for a place to eat)
uncle: there are no good "krep" places here. the best ones are far from the city.
me: oh its ok. im sure we can find it in dessert places or french restaurants here.
uncle: no you wont!
me: huh? back home, i can find it in those places.
uncle: are you sure?
me: yes.
(after walking some more)
me: ok. what's the nearest thing to "krep". hmm...waffles?
uncle: waffle? how is that near to "krep"?
me: wait, what kind of "krep" are you talking about?
uncle: what kind of "krep" are you talking about?
me: the one that looks like a thin pancake with some fruit fillings and ice cream on top?
uncle: oh you mean crepe? i was referring to crab!
me: oh, we pronounce it as krep. how do you pronounce it?
uncle: kreyp.
laughter ensued...
buko as dessert
kim invited anne and i to a pre-christmas dinner at her home and i brought some buko pandan for dessert. glad kim and her husband loved it!
it was interesting to learn that having fresh young coconut as a dessert ingredient is foreign to them. yes, they used it for coconut cream/milk-based dishes but not for dessert.
itlog na maalat
in one of our dinners, we had salted egg frog legs. based from its taste, it seems like the frog legs were dipped in salted egg-based batter before it was deep-fried.
i blurted out that we usually have salted egg with tomatoes for breakfast.
classmate: so how do you cook the salted egg?
me: hard-boiled, and then we mix it with tomatoes
classmate: how do you cook the tomatoes?
me: oh, we eat it fresh. we boil the egg first, remove it from the shell and slice it into small pieces. then we mix it with sliced fresh tomatoes, and voila, breakfast! it goes well with fried rice.
classmate: oh nice. i have to try that.
and more exchanges
one classmate shared that she usually scoops peanut butter and coats it with milk powder
another said that she usually mixes milo with condensed milk
and i brought classic polvoron from house of polvoron and they liked it
if benetton has united colors, we have united taste buds :)
Sunday, January 01, 2012
claiming 2012
before the world ends as what some prophesy says, i would like to claim it first! besides, if they're correct, i still have until dec 20, 2012. not bad! (crazy, really crazy!)
2011 was my year of transition. i placed a lot of periods in my book.
i left my job.
we left our long-time place in cubao.
i finished my program.
i dont know how 2012 will unfold. but come to think of it, no one knows anyway. and ive always had the same thought every jan. the only difference is that now, most of the uncertainties are due to my choices. and i could only hope for the best. yes, im welcoming 2012 with nothing but hope.
happy 2012 everyone!
2011 was my year of transition. i placed a lot of periods in my book.
i left my job.
we left our long-time place in cubao.
i finished my program.
i dont know how 2012 will unfold. but come to think of it, no one knows anyway. and ive always had the same thought every jan. the only difference is that now, most of the uncertainties are due to my choices. and i could only hope for the best. yes, im welcoming 2012 with nothing but hope.
happy 2012 everyone!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
mood swings
i just had my second to the last exam yesterday. just one more and im done with my program. i should be happy but im having mixed feelings instead. maybe this is separation anxiety. i had always loved being in school. it makes me feel pampered, sort of isolated from the reality. a place where one is allowed to wander, mentally at least. something which is difficult to do in the real, everyday world of pragmatism.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
at the edge
1 essay, 2 exams and i will be done with graduate school. its been 18 months, 10 modules, 8 professors, boxes of readings, a number of new acquaintances and friends,a lot of conversations, tons of new learnings, bouts of sadness, moments of introspection and a whole lot of experience which brought laughter, irritation, frustration, bliss, hope, wisdom (i hope), etc etc. i hope things will turn out well in the next chapter.
Sunday, October 09, 2011
untitled
i have been so unproductive for the past few weeks. yes, not just days but weeks. comments for the online fora were posted late, articles were left unread, essays are already overdue.
i thought that having 2 modules for my last semester would be a breeze since i would have lots of free time to do things in advance. but events are turning out not as planned. this is terrible.
i thought that having 2 modules for my last semester would be a breeze since i would have lots of free time to do things in advance. but events are turning out not as planned. this is terrible.
Sunday, October 02, 2011
hitting 30
celebrating my 30th did not come easy. i didnt want to celebrate it :( but my classmates and friends were sweet enough to make sure that my special day wont just go unnoticed. hence, i had four birthday celebrations.
first was with my usual gang. in the midst of writing essays, they went out of their way to have dinner with me and to wait for the clock to strike 12 to welcome my 30th
and everyone even sang happy birthday in their native tongue. one remarked that we were like participants in the bandung conference some 30 years ago
(ugh, i still have to find a way to insert that video here)
the actual birthday was spent biking in east coast with my sister and housemates.
a very much needed updating with the SOLAIR girls. they really are women of strength :)
and finally, with kim and su
in the end, the phrase on the box captured what i had to do
first was with my usual gang. in the midst of writing essays, they went out of their way to have dinner with me and to wait for the clock to strike 12 to welcome my 30th
and everyone even sang happy birthday in their native tongue. one remarked that we were like participants in the bandung conference some 30 years ago
(ugh, i still have to find a way to insert that video here)
the actual birthday was spent biking in east coast with my sister and housemates.
a very much needed updating with the SOLAIR girls. they really are women of strength :)
and finally, with kim and su
in the end, the phrase on the box captured what i had to do
Monday, September 12, 2011
home is where the heart is: kwentong tahanan at bayan
pauwi ako ng pilipinas noong nakaraang semestre ng unang pumasok sa utak ko ang kabalintunaan ng salitang home. sa manila, sa cubao kami nakatira ng kapatid ko. pero ng buwang iyon, nasa probinsya sya. kaya sabi ko sa sarili ko, paano ko sasabihing im going home, eh wala namang tao sa bahay?
===
noong mayo, nagbakasyon ako sa ate ko na hindi na nakatira sa pilipinas. nagkataong nakatira din sa kanya noon ang nanay at kapatid ko ngunit ako lang ang uuwi. walang direct flight pauwi ng maynila at kailangan kong magtransit sa hongkong. habang nasa hongkong ako, naisip ko, tama bang sabihin kong pauwi na ako? pero sino ang uuwian ko? ang mga uuwian ko, iniwan ko sa pinanggalingan kong banyagang bansa. masasabi ko bang uuwi ako kahit bahay lang ang dadatnan ko?
===
noong unang araw ng setyembre, nakakita ako ng 3 bintana sa isang HDB building na may mga christmas light. sa ingles, madaling sabihing i miss home. pero anong home nga ulit ang tinutukoy ko? hindi ko alam. walang tao sa bahay namin sa probinsya. iniwan na namin ang nirerentahang apartment sa cubao. asan na ang home ko? siguro dahil andito ako, madaling sabihing ang home ko ay pilipinas. uuwi ako sa pilipinas. pero pag asa pilipinas na ako, ano ang tatawagin kong home?
===
meron akong isang kaklase na madalas magreklamo sa fb na hindi na daw nya maramdamang home ang bansang ito dahil sa mga banyagang katulad ko. at kamakailan lamang, sabi nya pupunta daw sya sa isang bansa kung saan nararamdaman nyang at home na at home sya. bat kaya hindi na lang sya pumunta dun eh at home naman pala sya dun?
===
mahirap din pala ang walang permanent address. umalis ako sa probinsyang kinalakhan ko nung labing-anim na taong gulang ako. umalis ako sa cubao na kumupkop sa akin ng labintatlong taon. at ngayon, pinagsisiksikan ko ang sarili ko sa isang bansa kung saan maraming mamamayan nito ang galit sa mga kapwa ko banyaga. uuwi na lang ba ako?
hmm ayoko nga. bakit ba, sila din naman hindi taal na tiga dito ah.ah basta, the world is my home.
===
noong mayo, nagbakasyon ako sa ate ko na hindi na nakatira sa pilipinas. nagkataong nakatira din sa kanya noon ang nanay at kapatid ko ngunit ako lang ang uuwi. walang direct flight pauwi ng maynila at kailangan kong magtransit sa hongkong. habang nasa hongkong ako, naisip ko, tama bang sabihin kong pauwi na ako? pero sino ang uuwian ko? ang mga uuwian ko, iniwan ko sa pinanggalingan kong banyagang bansa. masasabi ko bang uuwi ako kahit bahay lang ang dadatnan ko?
===
noong unang araw ng setyembre, nakakita ako ng 3 bintana sa isang HDB building na may mga christmas light. sa ingles, madaling sabihing i miss home. pero anong home nga ulit ang tinutukoy ko? hindi ko alam. walang tao sa bahay namin sa probinsya. iniwan na namin ang nirerentahang apartment sa cubao. asan na ang home ko? siguro dahil andito ako, madaling sabihing ang home ko ay pilipinas. uuwi ako sa pilipinas. pero pag asa pilipinas na ako, ano ang tatawagin kong home?
===
meron akong isang kaklase na madalas magreklamo sa fb na hindi na daw nya maramdamang home ang bansang ito dahil sa mga banyagang katulad ko. at kamakailan lamang, sabi nya pupunta daw sya sa isang bansa kung saan nararamdaman nyang at home na at home sya. bat kaya hindi na lang sya pumunta dun eh at home naman pala sya dun?
===
mahirap din pala ang walang permanent address. umalis ako sa probinsyang kinalakhan ko nung labing-anim na taong gulang ako. umalis ako sa cubao na kumupkop sa akin ng labintatlong taon. at ngayon, pinagsisiksikan ko ang sarili ko sa isang bansa kung saan maraming mamamayan nito ang galit sa mga kapwa ko banyaga. uuwi na lang ba ako?
hmm ayoko nga. bakit ba, sila din naman hindi taal na tiga dito ah.ah basta, the world is my home.
Friday, August 26, 2011
"Language, Learning, Identity, Privilege" (this is a borrowed title)
last night after class, the foodie gang went to the usual eating place for supper. my chinese classmate ordered food, in chinese, to a chinese food server but ironically, they couldn't understand what each other was saying. we just laughed about it. then the conversation went to how some locals of chinese origin prefer talking in english. they say younger generations of singaporeans dont know how to speak in chinese anymore, they converse mainly in english, and the choice of language has a social class aspect to it. i thought, parang sa atin lang din pala, when you want to show that you're sosyal or that you're a professional, you speak in english. that's why when we're insulted or pissed at someone, the usual recourse is "englishin mo nga". or kung gustong magyabang about winning an argument over someone, the usual line goes "inenglish ko nga, eh di natahimik sya".
then i saw this posted on fb "Language, Learning, Identity, Privilege"
people felt insulted. maraming nainis. i don't agree with the author's argument and i think he is not as "learned" as what he claims to be. i want to drag him to up and let him sit in a room where classes are taught in filipino, maybe he hasnt been to one. or let him read academic books, theses, journal articles written in filipino, maybe he hasn't seen any. (i heard that some theses are even written in other philippine dialects.)
but i think there's some value to the article. it shows how a number of "privileged" people such as the author view their status in the society. that they're "privileged". that they're different. that they're better. and that their ability to speak in english is just but one proof.
and just now i saw another post in fb from an orgamate:
"Sa kasalukuyan sa Kongreso, may nakahaing mga panukalang batas na naglalayong pag-igtingin ang paggamit ng Ingles sa paraan ng pagtuturo sa mga silid-aralan. TUTULAN!
HB 66 ni Rep. Luis Villafuerte (3rd District, Camarines Sur)
HB 93 ni Rep. Eduardo Gullas (1st District, Cebu)
HB 191 ni Rep. Rachel del Mar (1st District, Cebu City)
HB 1245 ni Rep. Mark Villar (Lone District, Las Piñas City)"
im not trashing the use of the english language. it is good that we learn how to communicate in a second language but we should do so not at the expense of our mother tongue. for if we do, im afraid we would inadvertently perpetuate a kind of elitism which the article is reeking of.
pilipino tayo. let's not degrade our own language.
baka multuhin tayo ng ating mga ninuno.
then i saw this posted on fb "Language, Learning, Identity, Privilege"
people felt insulted. maraming nainis. i don't agree with the author's argument and i think he is not as "learned" as what he claims to be. i want to drag him to up and let him sit in a room where classes are taught in filipino, maybe he hasnt been to one. or let him read academic books, theses, journal articles written in filipino, maybe he hasn't seen any. (i heard that some theses are even written in other philippine dialects.)
but i think there's some value to the article. it shows how a number of "privileged" people such as the author view their status in the society. that they're "privileged". that they're different. that they're better. and that their ability to speak in english is just but one proof.
and just now i saw another post in fb from an orgamate:
"Sa kasalukuyan sa Kongreso, may nakahaing mga panukalang batas na naglalayong pag-igtingin ang paggamit ng Ingles sa paraan ng pagtuturo sa mga silid-aralan. TUTULAN!
HB 66 ni Rep. Luis Villafuerte (3rd District, Camarines Sur)
HB 93 ni Rep. Eduardo Gullas (1st District, Cebu)
HB 191 ni Rep. Rachel del Mar (1st District, Cebu City)
HB 1245 ni Rep. Mark Villar (Lone District, Las Piñas City)"
im not trashing the use of the english language. it is good that we learn how to communicate in a second language but we should do so not at the expense of our mother tongue. for if we do, im afraid we would inadvertently perpetuate a kind of elitism which the article is reeking of.
pilipino tayo. let's not degrade our own language.
baka multuhin tayo ng ating mga ninuno.
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