this is exactly how i feel. :p now, i could only smile at the thought
"I am a masochist. I hunger for pain. I inflict pain in my heart hoping that this could either heal me or at least numb me.
After more than a year of being apart, I have not totally healed. Im still hurting. I know that we could not be together and if given the chance that I will be forced to choose to be with him or not, I think I will choose not being with him. But why am I still hurting.
Iam hurting because i have not totally let go. I am hurting because I am still bitter. I am hurting because there was no closure. I am hurting because we ended up in a standstill. I am hurting because everything seemed so vague and it ended up abruptly. I am hurting because I misread him. I am hurting because there were no apologies. I am hurting because there were no explanations. I am hurting because he seems to be happy with her while I m here all by myself. I am hurting because I thought that he cares for me and would be sensitive of my feelings but it seems like he is not. But more than anything, I am hurting because I was wrong about him. "
