it's been six weeks since i was offered the job. and i know it will take this amount of time, or probably longer, to have my papers processed and approved. but honestly, i am slowly losing my patience. i am even doubting whether i made the right choice or not. had i accepted the other school's offer, i should have been working part-time by now. but i've already made by choice so i guess i just have to wait and see.
yesterday, i felt so low because i am no longer enjoying the unproductive state that i am in. before moving here, i have been working full-time for the past 8 years with the last 4 years spent on juggling a 5.5-day workweek and part-time grad school which drives my schedule crazy at times. while my schedule loosened up a bit when i did full-time school here, essays would still require me to at the library by 8am and produce pages of work about a particular topic. hence, idle time was then a luxury which i looked forward to. but now, idle time is becoming a torture. i've read books, watched movies, watched tv shows, surfed aimlessly, cleaned the house, washed clothes and ironed them, etc etc. but doing such everyday makes me bored. i feel like im not doing myself any justice. so i opt to writing instead. for i feel that at least when i write, im producing something instead of just consuming madly.
and speaking of my low moment yesterday, i was bent on updating my status with a whine that reads something like "it's been 6 weeks and im slowly losing my patience" (yeah, something like the opening line of this entry) but upon opening my fb account, i saw new photos of my nephew eric and a peak-a-boo video of my niece gabby which brightened up my day. ahh...kids and family :) they never fail to bring a smile on my face. and ok, a message from him also helped :)
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patty laurel was talking about kindness today and i agree with her. being kind is tough, it's always a challenge. it's easier to become rational than to be kind-hearted. when i was younger,i could say that i had a kind heart. i believed that everyone has a good heart, that people do not-so-good things because of their love for their families. but as i grew older, im not sure if i still have that belief. sometimes i feel that some people are just...mean. yes, i could say that i've matured. i learned a lot of things about life, about people. but simultaneous with the learning is the prejudice because of the human tendency to generalize. and i want to shed that off. i wish i could be more kind.
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when i opened up my school email, i saw a mail that details my department's "housekeeping" chores,i.e. professors' schedule for bringing out the plants :) i find it nice.
