the fragility of human life

i dont really know your story. all i know is that youve been together for 5 years now. he came from a long relationship. i dont know about your story.

his family didnt like you at first because youre way older than him. but through the years, youve managed to charm them with your kindness. somehow, his family has learned to love you. and things have been going along pretty well.

though he might not have nagged you about it, he wanted to have a child. both of you are not getting any younger and his parents have been anticipating for another grandchild. this time from him.

he's in a deep dilemma because he didnt plan it. he said they started as flings. the thought of having a new challenge excited him. yet years after, it grew into something more serious. now,another life is involved. that of their unborn child.

unlike you, she is more demanding. she wants to have him,legally. she wants marriage. but she is not desperate. if he doesnt want to, its fine with her. but she has voiced out her preference.

he's been accompanying her to her pre-natal checks. he cried when he first saw the ultrasound image of their child. he cried because of too much joy. and too much guilt.

he's been thinking of you whenever he is with her. the thought of you being alone in the house feeds his guilt. he can no longer afford to be mushy with you because his conscience bothers him.

he doesnt want to decide now because he cant. youre leaving and he doesnt want you to ruin that plan because of depression. he plans to tell you once you leave.

he doesnt want to live with her just because of the child. akthough the idea is not that bad after all.

for now, he's thinking of just leaving the both of you. maybe out of cowardice. or maybe out of bravery.

but the turn of events over the weekend have been so unreal. seems like the heavens have made the decision for him...tragically.

now, no one knows where you are. last friday, maybe you were even excited when you boarded that ship. happy to go home and pay a visit to your loved ones. but nature has been cruel.

you are not in the list of survivors. we dont want to think that you didnt make it. now, we can only pray that ypu are on a shore somewhere. you dont deserve such a cruel ending. not in your lovelife. not in your life.

up checklist

i dont usually post these kind of stuff in my blog but because its the height of UP's centennial celebration, ill allow myself a little indulgence.

galing kay ava, in line with the peyups centennial hoopla, ilan sa mga sumusunod ang nagawa nyo nung nasa UP pa kayo? =P


[ ] Worried about getting bullied by fratmen or getting killed in a riot.
[ ] Got bullied by fratmen or was killed in a riot.
[ ] Witnessed a riot.
[X ] Watched the Oblation Run.
[ ] Made friends with a teacher
[ ] Was tricked as a freshman into attending a rally / prayer meeting.
[X ] Wore red or black on one of those wear red or wear black days
[ ] Wore red on Valentine?s Day.
[ ] Wore black on Valentine's Day.
[ ] Celebrated a birthday at Mang Jimmy's.
[X ] Learned UP Naming Mahal
[X ] Was an RA (registration assistant) or SA. (SA AS 101)
[ ] Lied or begged to an RA for a slot in class.
[ ] Participated in a there's-only-one-more-slot-are you-feeling-lucky?
[X ] Jogged around the campus (FOR THE LOVE OF KAMASA)
[X ] Visited the Vargas Museum
[X ] Knew at least one xerox lady, manong, or technician by name. [OO NGA, counted
ba si Manang Pilar, ung nasa Pilar-Herrera Hall]
[ ] Attended university level graduation.
[X ] Got an activist for a teacher
[ ] Watched a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game.
[X ] Watched a UP vs. any school basketball game
[X ] Studied in CASAA.
[ ] Studied in McDonald's or Jollibee Philcoa for one full night and bought just one regular-sized drink.
[ ] Studied along Katipunan.
[ ] Studied along Katipunan and affected by the mannerisms of a stereotypical Atenean.
[X ] Watch a play that's not required for Comm III (DAMI NITO)
[X ] Went stargazing. (SA SUNKEN, HABANG KAUSAP ANG MGA TIBAK)
[x ] Ate in Chocolate Kiss, Tea Room (in CHE) or Chateau Verde
[ ] Struck up a conversation with a taong grasa
[ ] Wrote to/for the Collegian
[ ] Seriously pondered about the identity/ies of the people described in
Eksenang Peyups.
[X ] Went to the chapel. [OO NAMAN, LALO NA NUNG NAG MATH17 AKO]
[x ] Got a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers while walking in Sunken
Garden .
[ ] Cut class with your block to watch a movie. [pwede ba to tambay?]
[ ] Had a Voltes V for a teacher.
[ ] Took a class under Joseph Palis.
[ ] Lied to the transcript lady to get a transcript earlier than the
standard 3 months.
[X ] Went to a Freshman-only concert.
[ ] Subsisted on just streetfood (fishballs, half footlongs, kwekwek,
squidballs/rolls, mais, dirty ice cream) for a day.
[ ] Learned how to smoke. [tried but never learned]
[X ] Went on an out-of-town trip with blockmates or orgmates. (MADAMING BESES)
[ ] Fell in love
[x ] Actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib.
[ ] Played cards during your free time.
[X ] Dressed in business attire [comm III & interview sa org]
[ ] Sumabit sa jeep.
[ ] Got sung to or sung to someone in class during Valentine's day.
[x ] Watched the Lantern Parade
[x ] Helped out a total stranger.
[ ] Helped out a total stranger because he/she was hot.
[x ] Learned to stay awake for more than 24 or 48 hours straight [sa socio
199.1][ ] Got bullied by fratmen and feeling cool wannabe people who were actually losers.
[ ] Took Wednesday and/or Sat classes WILLINGLY
[ ] Volunteered for the pahinungod. [wanted to]
[X ] Ate "tasteless white sauce" pasta from cock-a-noodle-doo.
[ ] Got a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[x ] Took time to read the vandalism in the CR
[x ] Watched a sexy art film for any GE class. (pila balde)
[x ] Got held up or pickpocketed. [sa katipunan]
[x ] Felt depressed because you were not as good academically as you were
in high school.
[x ] Did a last minute paper (ALWAYS)
[x ] Had spent a lot for 1x1 ID pictures.
[x ] Got exempted from final exams
[ ] Got exempted from a final exam but still took it.
[x ] Attended a varsity pep rally.
[ ] Watched LIVE AIDS, Androgyny, Maskipaps or any well-known variety
show.
[ ] Promised to quit smoking.
[x ] Got into at least one (org- or council-sponsored) adventure race
[ ] Knew where the best restrooms are on campus.
[x ] Joined an org.
[x ] Allowed yourself to make mistakes.
[ ] Went to the gym in spite of having no PE class just to ogle varsity
players/cute boys. [nye, ang layo]
[x ] Took summer classes
[x ] Admired the Oblation.
[x ] Made a video for a project.
[X ] Had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] Had a teacher who had a crush on/tried to court you.
[ ] Attended your ROTC Bivouac.
[ ] Faked sickness to get an absence excused.
[ ] Got your car scratched by one of those "Kuya bantayan ko kotse niyo"
kids.
[ ] Took a PE class where you had to pay for tuition (i.e. sportsclimbing,
ten pin bowling, scuba diving, etc).
[x ] Went to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes.
[ ] Learned how to use the Bayantel pay phones.
[x ] Participated in school activities.
[ ] Caught the UP Pep Tryouts.
[ ] Dated someone from UP.
[x ] Rode an IKOT and TOKI.
[X ] Found a tambayan.
[ ] Went drinking at Sarah's.
[ ] Learned how to beg for a higher grade.
[ ] Used your 6 allowable absences wisely
[ ] Lived in a dorm.
[ ] Volunteered to be beadle or go-to guy for your group / class.
[ ] Had the worst schedule.
[ ] Realized that there really is just one coconut tree on the sunken
garden
[ x] Not used up all 6 allowable absences
[x ] Ate in ISSI, Treehouse, Mama Thai's and other more obscure cafeterias.
[x ] Ate food Aristocart-style [once, yung sa eng]
[ ] Is active in your org.
[X ] Attended an ACLE.
[X ] Got as many app forms as you can during the job fair.
[X ] Learned how to cram. [learned...and mastered!]
[x ] Sold tickets for (or watch) an org-sponsored movie premiere. (OO NAMAN, CHOCOLAT YATA ATBP)
[ ] Saved money to Xerox all of your seatmate's notes.
[ ] Had accidentally seen a make-out session.
[x ] Slept in class. [sa sts]
[ x ] Finished a homework/assignment/paper in the Shopping center or
Philcoa. [MADALAS SA CSSP COMP LAB AT NAPAPAGALITAN NI ATE ROSE DAHIL SA KAINGAYAN]
[ ] Had mountains of "unused" sample exams and/or old testaments.
[X ] Resolved to be "better this semester"
[ ] Slept during a test.
[X ] Had groupmates from hell [kaya ako naincomplete!]
[X ] Learned how to work with groupmates from hell
[ ] Perfected the art of parking on campus.
[ ] Had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus
[X ] Developed a love for sisig. [gloria's sa casaa]
[X ] Practiced those UP cheers in the first meeting for PE class.
[X ] Looked at microfilms in the library or poked through archives
[X ] Reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function.
[X ] Attended the UP Fair.
[X ] Went to a library other than your own college's to research. [pati
social work at women studies]
[ ] Lost a perfectly functioning umbrella [
[ ] Used consultation hours properly.
[ ] Went to the Guidance Office for real, heart-to-heart guidance.
[ ] Went to the infirmary
[ ] Attended class with a hangover
[x ] Drink beer or alcohol while inside UP grounds
[X ] Walked all the way to Philcoa or Katipunan from UP
[ ] Buy frogs from NSRI or a Bio department.
[ ] Maxed out on the 6 allowed unexcused absences but DID NOT drop.
[ ] Got invited or pursued by a sorority or fraternity.
[X ] Wore slippers to school.
[ ] Had a professor who smoked in class.
[ ] Got diagnosed by the Infirmary as pregnant or infected with STD.

maligayang sentenaryo up

isandaang taon na ang nakalilipas nang magsimula kang humubog ng mga kaisipan at pagkatao ng mga kabataang tinaguriang pag-asa ng bayan. isandaang taon na ngunit pinipilit mo pa ring maipagpatuloy ang paggampan sa iyong pangunahing layunin sa lipunan. sa gitna ng maraming pagbabago, nawa'y patuloy kang maging inspirasyon upang ang hangaring mapabuti ang pansarili at panlipunang kinabukasan ay makamtan.

final destination

It started in Sagada but ended in Galera. All these plans about traveling together as a group is indeed challenging especially with people who have classes during weekends or who are saving their leaves for other travel plans (fine, you can charge me with both). You’ll have problems with schedules, finances, leaves, etc etc. But we hurdled all that, and settled for a cheap, accessible and relatively near out of town getaway --- sa isla ng Puerto Galera.

Ive never been to Puerto Galera so (my other self and) I was excited about the trip. But wait, seems like the mighty hands of destiny wont allow us to have a hassle-free trip to that island so it summoned the ghastly winds and a low pressure area was born. We were supposed to leave at the break of dawn of Saturday but by Thursday night, a friend adviced us that the center of typhoon Cosme is in Galera. Wow! Pero hindi pwede, kailangang ituloy to! This would be the most opportune time to go there especially with the latest occurrences in Henyo’s life. Naks! So despite the discouraging weather forecast for the weekend, we decided to go.

We stayed at Dory’s house in Las Pinas Friday night. We were watching the news but the weather reports were not very friendly. So we slept trying to come up with an alternative plan but came up with none. Bahala na si Batman!

Saturday morning came. Wow, it was so calm. It was a bit cloudy but the weather was just fine. And we were sooo happy.

But, there was one problem. We didn’t know where to get airconditioned buses going to Batangas port. So we had to take an ordinary bus first going to the bus terminal somewhere right after the expressway (didn’t get the name of the place). There we took an Alps bus going to the pier.

We got to the port at around 830 and after a quick survey of the ticket prices offered, we opted for MV Brian and bought a round trip ticket. Departure time was at 0830 and even if it was already past that time, the crew still assured us that we could still take that trip. Hmmm…pano? So off we ran to the boat passing quickly through the baggage checks.

When we got to the boat, we found out why. People were already hysterical because the departure time was delayed for more almost two hours. And people dont know why. They were threatening to disembark if we wont leave in the next few minutes. Finally, one personnel came and he explained that the trip was delayed because they were still securing permits. Talking about service..

After about 30 minutes, we sailed. Naks! It was a calm trip. Despite the typhoon in Pangasinan at that time, the weather in Batangas was ok. The sun is up, no strong winds and the sea is calm. Perfect! Or so we thought until we reached the open sea.

Grabe, we thought we were gonna die. Ok, im a bit exaggerating here but maybe some people in that boat were thinking that we are indeed. The first few minutes were scary because aside from the big waves, you have to deal with passengers shouting at every “bump” of the boat. Imagine turbulence in air. Or imagine being in a small roller coaster in the sea. Or how about Enchanted’s Rio Grande in an open sea. The waves were so big so everytime we crash into them, whoops, splash! And since we were at the front portion of the boat, wow, kami ang sumasalo sa tubig. Sometimes they would turn off the engine because if we don’t, we might indeed CRASH. After maybe 30 minutes, the passengers were already silent but you could sense that everyone is really tensed and is praying silently. I was both praying and singing in my head, with one hand holding my bag and the other gripping my seat. I would hold my breath whenever I see big waves coming our way. There was also this point when I was just waiting for one really huge wave to come and would turn the boat upside down.

Anyway, that roller coaster ride went on for about an hour. We were supposed to dock in White Beach but because of the big waves, we docked somewhere else. No one wanted to sit beside us in the shuttle, which was a jeep, because we were soaked. Really drenched in saltwater. Hay, I swore to myself that I will never go back to that place until next summer.

To balance things out, we found a cheap room. P1,500 lang. So we fixed our things first, checked which ones got wet and which ones didn’t. Got a shower to remove all the salt which already dried up and clung to our skin. After that, chow time! I was actually hoping for a seafood feast but we ended up having an ordinary Manila lunch. Buti na lang masarap ang pagkain. Or maybe we were just so exhausted and hungry and just happy to be alive kaya appreciative kami sa pagkain.

Dory was craving for that Galera ice scramble so we walked the entire stretch to look for one but there was none. What we got instead were new buys. Dory, Henyo and my other self bought beach outfits while the real me just settled for a new pair of shorts. After that, we wanted to swim already but the waves were still big so wag na lang. We opted to have our skin painted with henna.

After the henna, malaki pa rin ang alon so whats the best thing to do? Photoshoot! So we acted like lunatics and model wannabes by the beach: running, posing, and doing stunts.

After about 100 years, kahit malaki ang alon, sinuong na din namin. Ay ni Henyo lang pala. Dory and I sat by the shore, settling for the smaller waves. After maybe 20 minutes, we went back to our room because we were already trembling. Ang lamig!

Then its dinner time! We had fish, and squid, and chicken kebab, and rice, and water. Dami no? We even had a slight altercation with the cashier because we ordered for an eggplant which came after we cleared all our food. Syempre we didn’t want to pay for it so she came to our table and insisted that we have to pay for it because we ordered it. When we refused, she told us to talk to the manager. I told her to call the manager. And she did but apparently, the manager was wise enough to know what customer service is so the cashier didn’t come back to us and sent the waiter instead to give the bill, which now excludes the eggplant. Ang alamat ng talong, bow!

My other self was so longing to dance after that but because of that argument with the cashier, we opted to leave and walked to find a decent place to dance. So we walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, but found none so we ended up in the place where we started. But this time, the place was full. All seats were taken so we waited for quite some time to get settled.

I don’t know what the place is called but it seemed to be the party place in the entire White beach. I guess the main attraction were the gay waitresses who looked like real girls (at least some of them) and dressed in really short shorts or micro minis. Mahihiya kang ipakita ang pata mo  They even had “brighter future” than most girls do.

Anyhow, we gulped down a pitcher of Mindoro sling while chatting with our waitress named Sam and taking pictures in between. S/he said s/he’s from Malate and goes to Galera every summer or whenever there’s an event. That night, s/he and her/his fellows danced like the PCDs.

It was a typical summer night at the beach. There were a lot of groups having fun. We sat beside a big group of yuppies who seem so hungry for one summer hurrah. There was also this couple, a foreigner whose hands keep on working its way to every part of his girl’s body. There was also this guy who just keeps on dancing. Wherever you see him, he’s dancing.

It took another pitcher of the famous sling and an order of that Margarita slush-like thing before my other self had the guts to go to the dance floor to do her thing. My real self stayed at the table with dory and was just happy taking pictures of people having fun at the dance floor. It wasn’t long before we realize that we were already drunk. We were supposed to answer the call of nature and had to go back to our room but we noticed that hey, asa bangka pa ba tayo? Bat gumegewang ang paligid?

Anyway, we survived that drunk journey to our room and back to the beach were we just kept on laughing and making fun at our state. Henyo came to drag us to the dance floor where we danced and jumped and laughed and jumped and danced. We just stopped when we noticed that hey, this area is transforming into something else. Hehe

We had instant coffee after that (brewed is available not until 5am) and went back to our room. But the night is not about to end yet. My other self was walking when she suddenly stopped and stooped and you know what happened next. As to Dory, she was shouting ahn neyong ha seyo (sorry for the possible mistakes in spelling) to a group of Koreans who were having a drink downstairs. What a night.

The next morning, my other self had this headache. Dory took pictures of Henyo sleeping. My real self wanted some more sleep but had to wake up. Henyo woke up last.

Breakfast was ok. The tapa was makunat and the coffee was instant but we need nourishment. We still have a long way to go. We were deciding the best way to leave the island because we don’t want to go through another experience of that sort. One is enough.

It was 945 and the boat is about to leave at 10. But when we reached the pier, hala, si boat nasa laot na. But it was ok because the waves were still big. Coast guards were also very visible at that time. Other boat companies cancelled their trips and it was only the mighty (mighty-han) M/V Brian who sailed through the stormy sea.

So from there, we took a tricycle to the town proper. Astig mga tricycle. Inaakyat ang bundok. And the view from the mountains was much better than from the beach. Langit ito. From the town proper, we took a 1 ½ hour jeepney ride to Calapan. The jeepney ride was in itself an adventure because people were literally adorning the jeep, asa loob, sa side, at sa ibabaw. And then one last tricycle ride and we were at the Calapan port! Hayy… sa wakas.

Supercat, our saviour, was at the pier waiting for us. We had lunch first, and banana chips and corn chips while waiting for boarding. Good thing the pre-departure area had an air conditioning system. Hayy…

Then it was time to board. And it was time to go. And after a few minutes, it was time to pray again! Jusko, hindi pa pala tapos ang roller coaster ride. Walangyang mga alon yan! We could feel the ferry jumping through the waves. And whenever it tilts to the left or to the right, we go through the same routine of grabbing our seats and praying and hoping that we’re not gonna die at that very moment. Gusto kong mamatay ng may kabuluhan at hindi dahil sa pagkalunod. Hay… all we wanted was to have some moments together and have fun pero bat ganun.

Anyway, we survived all those. Despite how rough the sea was, we made it! Walang makakapigil sa taong gala hehe