Moment with the Ambassador, Minda Calaguian-Cruz



Ambassador Cruz addressing the UPAAS members
(Photo grabbed from UPAAS' Flickr account)

Im a fan.

I have seen the ambassador before in some of the events at FOWS- STP where I am a volunteer.  Commonly referred to as Amba’, she was  there at lunches, final presentations, beauty pageants, and what-have-yous.  Always supportive and ever approachable.  I heard that she hails from the same province as mine so it should be easy to talk to her because we have something in common (pardon my indulgence) but I never dared approached her because Im shy hihi

The first time that I heard her speak was at the UPAAS “Pakiusap” concert where she thanked and encouraged everyone, sanz the cheesiness, to continue supporting the scholarship program of the organization because of its noble objectives.  She then went on to stress the importance of education and helping those who do not have access to it because by doing so, we will be fostering the value of helping each other out.  Those who were granted scholarships will hopefully find ways to help needy students in the future.  And it will become a beautiful cycle.  I don’t remember much of what she said because Im that forgetful but I will not forget how good she was as a speaker. 

Last Saturday, she was a guest at the UPAAS AGM.  Since she’s going back to Manila to head the Office of Asian and Pacific Affairs at the DFA, the organization prepared a short video showcasing her support to the organization from its inception in 2003 until now. I felt that she was enjoying the video as much as we were enjoying the candid moment with her, occasionally remarking “Tingnan mo, ang itim ko pa noon.  Ngayon medyo maputi na.”  I couldn’t help but giggle.  The ambassador has the concerns of an average Filipino – kung paano pumuti.  She is just one of us after all.

She gave an inspiring speech.  She touched on several topics, saying that the more pictures that she sees, the more thoughts come to her mind.

These are some points that resonated in me:

·         As OFWs, we are all ambassadors of the country.  Cliché but true. Whatever we do or say will always reflect on the Philippines and Filipinos.  And it’s difficult.  On the one hand, you don’t want to be an apologist for the country.  On the other hand, you feel defensive every time you feel that your motherland and your compatriots are unfairly judged by people whose main source of information is the media or someone who had a single unfortunate encounter with the Philippines or Filipinos.  It’s like walking on eggshells 24/7.

·         As migrants, we will raise third culture kids.  In as much as we want to expose them to different cultures, we would also want them to have that strain of Filipino-ness (whatever that means) in them.  The challenge is how.

·         Always think of a way to give back to the country and to the society.  Help those who could not help themselves.  The question should not just be about “which condo should I buy?” but also “how can we help?”  She also asked, “how much is enough?” 

·         Philippines will always be home.  (It was emotional to sing Lupang Hinirang and UP Naming Mahal in Singapore.) 

After her talk was the ceremonial photo-ops with the whole group.  But Mitchie and I went further, we had our photo taken with her J We knew that chances like these do not come every day so we went to her and asked, “Maam, pwede pong magpapicture?” To which, she replied “Oo naman”.  And this is the proof of our fangirl moment.
 

Me, Ambassador Cruz, Mitchie
(Photo grabbed from UPAAS' Flickr account)

Most of the time, inspiration doesn't just arrive at your doorsteps.  You have to go and find it.

MH 370

My friend Mitchie and I were on our way to another friend’s house when she asked me if I have heard about the Malaysian Airlines flight that suddenly disappeared two hours in its flight.  I didn’t knew about it so she filled me in with the details.  I felt that the most possible scenario was a crash somewhere remote, but scary and wild ideas also came into my mind. 

We knew that the next days were filled with theorizing.   I was also hungry for any new information that comes out and would read them in an instant.  But common sense  says that if no one can find them on land, they’re most probably be down there in the sea. 

Even if I didn’t know anyone in that flight, and no Filipino was onboard, I felt a real and deep sadness for those who perished and for their families.  I could imagine the anguish that they were in when no one could give them a definitive answer as to what have happened to their loved ones despite knowing that everyone is really doing their best to find the plane. 

When I watched the Malaysian Prime Minister on a delayed TV broadcast last night, my heart was crushing for the families. On the one hand, I think the pronouncement was a good way to start the healing process.  It was a definitive, despite painful,  answer to the question as to what could have happened: we do not know but we can say that we’ve lost them.  On the other hand, it’s also frustrating because no one still knows their whereabouts and what happened to them.  I know how it is to lose a loved one in a ‘natural’ way.  And losing a loved one in a sudden manner without any clue as to what happened to that person and where he or she is must be very terrible.  
When my father died, I learned the importance of rituals in a very personal manner.  For an outsider, they may just be an elaborate set of actions with no meanings but for me, I felt that the rituals helped a lot in the process of letting go.  The wake was a daily reminder that one day, he has to physically leave and never to be seen again but at least, there was that chance to somehow have that feeling that you are together in the same room. And at least, you are being prepared to let go.  And then, there was that moment when my mother got mad because we wanted to clean his cabinets and give away his clothes to our relatives.  For her, giving away his clothes was letting go of him completely, in an instantaneous  manner which, she wasn’t ready yet at that time. 

But in this case of disappearance, how would the family say their goodbyes?  In a cemetery or a columbarium, our departed loved ones has a “physical home”.  Decades from now, I could say to my grandchildren where their grandfather physically is.  I could physically introduce my future husband to my father just by going to the cemetery.  Of course, it’s purely ceremonial but still, there’s a physical manifestation of him, a symbol that he was once here.  But if you don’t know where exactly your loved one is, how could you do that?

I really hope that one day, no matter how long it will take, they will be found.  Or at least, some parts of the aircraft will resurface.

And I pray that the families (and also the employees of the airline) find solace and closure eventually.

Comfort drink

Minutes ago, this was filled with Mocha Frappe

I was in second year in college when I first stepped into Starbucks.  My groupmates for a class project and I dropped by in one of the outlets scattered along Manila on our way home from a meeting.  I don't remember the exact phrase but the barista asked me in straight English what I wanted for a drink. That was the time when Ingliserong/Ingliserang rich kids dominated the Starbucks barista population and I was the wide-eyed probinsyana who fidgets and stutters when speaking in conversational English and thought that everyone who spoke the language well was smart (in my defence, I know a lot better now hehe).  I ordered Mocha Frapuccino.  And Belgian waffle to eat.  I don't remember how much was it but I knew it cost a big chunk of my 500 peso weekly allowance.  I didn't visit the place again after that.

Fast-forward to a few years later.  I would land a job at J5 where we had free lunch everyday at the mess hall.  Whenever we would have a so-so ulam, or just when we feel like going out during lunch break, my colleagues and I would go to Starbucks for a drink.  In most instances, some of our bosses would go with us too.  It was a good place to chill, with its ambient music and the nice smell of coffee. In December, we would frequent the place more often because we wanted to collect as many stickers as we could just to get that free planner. 

It was also me and my friends' reliable go-to place.  After work, whenever we would feel like we don't want to go home, we would go to Starbucks at Araneta to chill.  That was our second home.  And then we ventured to Starbucks Megamall and stay there for hours having fun over kookology.  Starbucks was a place for many of our 20-year old conversations, debates, and rationalizations about life and love. 

And then everyone became a Stabucks junkie.  Students, young professionals, even young kids would be seen at Starbucks sipping coffee.  It became a place to see and be seen. And I wasn't comfortable with that.

When I moved to my new work, my relationship with Starbucks changed.  I didn't go to the place as often as I used to although my office friends and I would still go once in a while.  Personally, I would go there because it's the most convenient place to meet old friends but I learned to discover other coffee shops that are more quiet and intimate.  But it still had that special place in my heart because it held a lot of good memories with my friends.

When I moved here, it took some time before I had my first cup of Cafe Mocha from Starbucks (which tasted different - a bit bland) because of various reasons.  One, I was a student once again and to spend $5 for a cup of coffee was too much for me.  Second, I discovered that kopi po from the hawker centers tasted much, much better.

Now, I rarely go to Starbucks anymore even when Im back in the workforce.  Maybe my taste in coffee changed.  And maybe my taste in coffee shops changed too. But sipping a cup of Cafe Latte, or Cafe Mocha, or Mocha Frappe has a sentimental value for me because it reminds me of comfort and happy times with friends.

Brownie

I’ve done it before but since I have been on this “I’ll embrace the natural beauty of my hair” credo for the past few years now, it took some time for my sister to convince me to dye my hair.  I think she’s bored with my hair.  There’s also that possibility that she’s fed up with my musings about my unruly hair.  So last Saturday, I relented and had my hair dyed.  She chose the color, which was a bit light to my taste.  Since I was in a “go ahead and do what you want” mood, I also had it chopped.  This time, it was the hair stylist’s choice.   He thought my hair was too thick so he had it thinned.  They wanted to rebond my hair but I held my ground.

So the result is a brown, short hair for me.

I thought it was too straight for me.

But the following day, when the effects of the hair dryer and the hair iron worn out, my hair was back to its natural wavy state.  And it looked nice. 

It’s a bit difficult to manage but I like the fact that everyday, I’m surprised at how it’ll turn out.

Final destination

If you were a teen in the 2000's, you might have seen at least one of the Final Destination films.  I am not a big fan of horror movies and I won't go to the movie house to catch one unless Im under intense peer pressure.  And this is a movie that I have seen due to peer pressure (or I might have seen it on HBO, Im not sure).  I don't know which one in the series I have seen but I remember it starred Devon Sawa.  The plot basically goes like this - one member of the group has a premonition that something bad is going to happen to them hence they were able to avoid being in that situation before it even happens ergo, they were able to cheat death.  Or so they thought.  But death (I mean the depiction of death - the guy in black robes with a scythe) is persistent.  He will not allow these kids to escape him so even if the group is seemingly smart enough to outrun him, he still manages to hunt them down and kill them one by one.

And yesterday, something happened to me which reminded me of this film.  NO, it's not scary as this one.  But if there's a comedy version of Final Destination, I could be a part of it.

The Premonition

Last Saturday, I was queueing at the loo in Novena.  All the cubicles were closed and there were about 4 elderly ladies behind me.  I think they're in their 60's or 70's.

One of the ladies told me to check one of the cubicles if it's empty since the door was a ajar.  I went to check and it was empty but what was in there was a squat pan which I don't like using so I told them they could go ahead if they want to.  One of the ladies said in jest "We can't use that because our knees are weak.  If we sit down, we can't stand up anymore.  We're old."  And we laughed. That was a candid and funny statement.

The Cheat

The other day, I was boarding the BTC and I almost tripped because I may not have stepped high enough to reach the first step of the, what do you call it, bus' boarding steps?  But my reflexes were quick enough to adjust my legs so I managed to hold on to the steel bars at the door of the bus and did not fall.

The Final Destination

My colleague and I were on our way to lunch.  We saw that the bus was already at the stop just outside our door so we ran to catch it.  To run from where we were standing until the door would probably take about 5 - 7 strides?  On my second/third stride, my sandals caught the step...and in that 1 or 2 second when I was about to fall down (felt like everything was in slow motion), my brain went on this "Im gonna fall ....no....im gonna fall....no" debate and I was trying to remain upright but my knees were gonna give in and I knew it.  It's gonna happen. It was supposed to happen since yesterday. And I fell.

No, it was not as bad as this. But you get the idea.
(Photo from Google images)

No, I didn't have any scratch or bruise. It was a swift and smooth landing. My colleague asked me if I was fine and the first thing that I said was not "Im ok" but "Did anyone see what happened?"

It was embarassing.   Im glad that it happened when we were still in the office. Otherwise, whew!

Bibingka-ing on a Saturday

Last Saturday, Mitchie and I went to Dini's place to cook Bibingka - a native Filipino dish.  She has been on this cooking craze for quite a few months now and I have been a happy guinea pig to try some of her experiments.

So she found this recipe online and asked me if it was Filipino.  Upon confirmation, she invited me and Mitchie to her place to try it.

And we came up with this. 

Source: diniblini

And I have to say, it was good :)  It came close to how the native recipe is done in the province (they cook a different version in Manila).  The only difference was 1) it doesnt have that smoky flavor, and 2) the topping didn't achieve that caramelised texture particular to probinsya-made bibingka.  But who cares.

Its main ingredient is glutinous rice, so it's quite heavy.  But we managed to finish about 1/3 of it while watching Lars and the Real Girl.

I love Saturdays like that.

Pancake experiment

I've been experimenting on pancakes for the past few months.  My love affair with pancakes was a gradual process.  I wasn't particularly fond of it when I was younger because I found it too sweet.  Back then, the only pancake recipe I know was the ready-to-cook kind.  A premix sort of thing where you just have to add egg and water and voila, an instant pancake batter!

And then, I fell in love with crepes - a cousin of pancakes.  A previous colleague's sister owns a cafe which specializes in crepes, Cafe Breton.  One time, she invited us to the place and had us try some of their bestsellers.  Ang sarap!  I was in crepe heaven.  So that started my fondness with crepes, waffles, and pancakes.

One day, my friend Diniblini invited me to her place to try this recipe she saw online.  It was my first time to make pancakes from scratch!  Yeah I know, I was clueless to how easy it was.  And it tasted way better :) Had I known that it was that easy, man....

Banana pancakes with lemon cocounut curd and bacon 

So this is the banana pancakes that we tried.  It was GOOD and the lemon curd was WAAAY BETTER than the ones I have tried in restaurants.  So I promised to make one myself.

My version of pancake with lemon coconut curd

Which I did.  It was good but err...I put too much lemon juice :D But I was proud of myself for making this because I didn't have the proper utensils but with a bit of resourcefulness, it turned out well.  The method required cooking the curd in a heatproof pan but I used my glass lunchbox instead and placed in on top of a makeshift steamer.  I thought that the glass will not get hot as compared to a regular pan, but I was wrong with my guess. So I was worried that the curd will not be cooked as how it was supposed to but in the end, it did :)

Pancake with grape sauce

This was made because I had a terrible waffle at one of the places in Dhoby Gaut.  I forgot the name of the place but their waffle was filled with whipped cream on top and extremely sweet raspberry jam. Major fail.   Since I had grapes which has been sitting in the fridge for about two weeks I think, I thought of making grape sauce.  I also experimented on the pancake, put all sorts of stuff on it: self-raising flour, baking soda, baking powder.  I wished I didnt haha It was chewy, seemed like a very thick crepe.

I made this one just this morning. I still had a lot of banana so I mashed it and mixed it into my usual pancake batter (plain flour, cinnamon, sugar, salt, milk, egg, butter).  I also added oatmeal in it. And it turned out good.  The buko shake was a result of my sister's recent obsession with her blender.

So if you're like me who's tired of store-bought pancake mixes, try making it from scratch.  It's easy and way better :)

I dont know what's happening but my photos turn out sideways when posted.

Solitary happiness

I went to school for the health screening exercise today.  As usual, everything was so efficient.  The entire process was done in 30 minutes.  I was planning to go to the library after that, to finish the book that I was reading which is very engaging by the way, but the UT bus came so I opted to go to UTown instead.

I ordered a plate of Nasi Lemak and a cup of coffee and sat down at one of the wooden tables by the edge of the canteen.  That's my favorite spot.  At first, the sun was hiding behind the clouds, occasionally coming out giving a nice warm glow.

Breakfast scene

I savored my breakfast.  I spent about 45 minutes eating it while appreciating the beauty right before my eyes - a wide patch of green field.  It seemed so inviting to go in the middle, lie down and gaze at the sky...or close your eyes and just feel the grass underneath.  But there were sprinklers.  Maybe I'll just go to the other side of the field and sit on one of the lounge chairs there.

Ultimate people

A couple started playing ultimate.  After a few throws, one girl joined in.  This is one of the things that fascinates me with sports.  It's porous, so welcoming, even for strangers.  And then another guy joined in.  Eventually, there were ten of them playing.  I dont know how to play that sport.  It seemed that there are many different rules.  One time they were just tossing the "plate" at each other.  Another time, they were grouped in twos.  And then there was one in the middle. Seemed like an interesting game.

The Malay auntie sitting two tables in front approached me and asked me to help her adjust her phone settings.  When her son calls, she cant hear it.  She's like my mother, she doesnt know how to tinker her phone :)

The sun is shining brighter now.  Im gonna stay here for a bit and read.

I finished reading "And the mountains echoed" at 1230.  By that time, those playing ultimate came into the canteen for lunch.