the fragility of human life

i dont really know your story. all i know is that youve been together for 5 years now. he came from a long relationship. i dont know about your story.

his family didnt like you at first because youre way older than him. but through the years, youve managed to charm them with your kindness. somehow, his family has learned to love you. and things have been going along pretty well.

though he might not have nagged you about it, he wanted to have a child. both of you are not getting any younger and his parents have been anticipating for another grandchild. this time from him.

he's in a deep dilemma because he didnt plan it. he said they started as flings. the thought of having a new challenge excited him. yet years after, it grew into something more serious. now,another life is involved. that of their unborn child.

unlike you, she is more demanding. she wants to have him,legally. she wants marriage. but she is not desperate. if he doesnt want to, its fine with her. but she has voiced out her preference.

he's been accompanying her to her pre-natal checks. he cried when he first saw the ultrasound image of their child. he cried because of too much joy. and too much guilt.

he's been thinking of you whenever he is with her. the thought of you being alone in the house feeds his guilt. he can no longer afford to be mushy with you because his conscience bothers him.

he doesnt want to decide now because he cant. youre leaving and he doesnt want you to ruin that plan because of depression. he plans to tell you once you leave.

he doesnt want to live with her just because of the child. akthough the idea is not that bad after all.

for now, he's thinking of just leaving the both of you. maybe out of cowardice. or maybe out of bravery.

but the turn of events over the weekend have been so unreal. seems like the heavens have made the decision for him...tragically.

now, no one knows where you are. last friday, maybe you were even excited when you boarded that ship. happy to go home and pay a visit to your loved ones. but nature has been cruel.

you are not in the list of survivors. we dont want to think that you didnt make it. now, we can only pray that ypu are on a shore somewhere. you dont deserve such a cruel ending. not in your lovelife. not in your life.