2013: The year that was

This post was inspired by a video that teaches bullet journaling.  It’s a mundane one but it had a profound effect on me because it helped me look at last year with fresher eyes and plan concrete actions on what to do for this year.

So what happened last year?  Well, except for the lovelife part, I managed to cross out a lot of items on my list. And realised a lot of things about life.

I deliberately chose to do more activities.  I volunteered to teach – something which I have long been wanting to do even when I was still in Manila but wasn’t able to do since I didn’t have time.  I did pilates, kickboxing, pilates again and continued swimming.

I started building up my emergency fund.  And I even placed a decent amount in my investment portfolio even if my plan was just to read about it.  This is one of my main achievements for the past year because this event did not just teach me about money but also taught me about empowerment, helping out, giving back, and faith.

I underwent an executive medical check and found out that Im in pretty good shape.  Aside from the occasional fevers, I have never been sick in my entire life so the idea of going through a comprehensive medical screening sometimes freaks me out.  So when some people were telling me that I was losing weight, I became anxious and thought that I may be sick.  And then I started to feel things and became anxious about dying (yeah, the brain is a really powerful tool).  And then I realised that I don’t wanna die just yet and prayed really hard that if Im healthy, Ill get rid of all my useless anxiety and be more useful to the world instead.  So to get rid of my anxiety, I closed my eyes and called up St. Lukes. One week later, I found out that there was nothing to worry about.

I went to Australia!  Actually, the Aussie trip was not just a travel feat for me.  In fact, I went not primarily for traveling but to take a break and refill my ‘love tank’.  Two weeks of being with family and nature, and having had daily doses of hugs and kisses from my niece and nephew, and the feeling of being taken care of as a younger sister again, provided that much needed boost of energy.  Being in a new environment also made me refocus on what really matters in the long run.  Furthermore, the trip made me realise that traveling is a way for me to relax, but will never be my life goal.  Yes, I would still like to see new places, meet new people, explore new cultures and food but that would be ON THE SIDE and will not be my sole purpose in life.

On relationships, I realised that one really needs to be strong as a person to start and to maintain one. I think. (Im such a late bloomer) One has to decide and choose to do it, otherwise, it will never happen.  Sometimes the magic moment doesn’t present itself in an obvious manner but cloaks itself with ‘ordinariness’.   It doesn’t matter if you have full knowledge of all the pros and cons – cos you’ll never reach that stage anyway.  Difficult, awkward situations are abound.  And they’re perfectly ok.

Professionally, I think that I became more serious in what I do because I wanted to become a better researcher.  There was no pressure from someone else.  Or on a second thought, I think it’s the idea that I could lose my job anytime which drove me to do better in what I do.  And after I made that decision, I noticed that my job was better than what I thought it to be at first.  The professional growth is still in question but knowing the social significance of my work helped me a lot in doing my everyday tasks.  Looking at the same data over and over again also taught me to be more patient and responsible. Because that’s life anyway, we can run away from difficult and boring things in the short-term but they will always come back to haunt us and we will have no other recourse but to face them.  So it’s better to face them head on when they come the first time.  So that you’ll get used to them and become better the next time you have those encounters.  I think Im becoming a bit cryptic here but I hope you get what I want to say.

We can always plan our lives but let’s also welcome surprises.  I read this from Conrado de Quiros and I think it makes a lot of sense.  He wrote about it in a political aspect but I think it’s very helpful in shaping the way we approach the uncertainty of life.  He recalled that before the 2010 presidential election, Filipinos thought that the future of the nation was hopeless because we were certain that either Villar or Estrada will win.  But Aquino announced his bid and the rest was history.  (I voted for Gordon. I still wished that he won.  But seeing that Aquino’s victory brought a renewed sense of hope among Filipinos compelled me to agree with De Quiros’ point.  Although now, everything is debatable).  So lets plan but let’s also remember the fact that life and God has a lot of surprises for us.  If we feel down, let’s bank on those surprises.  If we feel that we are up there, let us wish for those surprises.  Certainly, they will help us keep our balance.

We should always give second chances. To durian. To indian food. And most importantly to ourselves and to other people because, well, we don’t always get it right the first time.

Ok. So my thoughts were pretty scattered in summing up last year’s events.  Maybe because 2013 was also complicated.  But maybe, my biggest realization is that, I should pat myself on the back because 2013 didn’t go to waste.  But it also showed me that the things that I have been busy with are the things that I imagined of doing ON THE SIDE.  I am not working on what I should have been FOCUSING ON. So, this year, I’ll work on that. And I hope that, I’ll have the courage, wisdom, right attitude, and faith to do that.

Thanks 2013.  It’s been fun.