reality bites

the pain is back.

a year ago, everything was fine. we were a team. solid. unbreakable. we had fun with each other's company. life was not perfect but its ok, we had each other to turn to anyway. last year, we faced villains together. but now, its different. it seems like we have become each other's nemesis.

one misunderstanding grew into a serious fight. the plethora of emotions clouded judgments. each had its own version of the story. each had its own version of the truth. both may have been saying the truth but the ego and the pain may have been stronger. and so each had an interpretation of its own.

now, its getting ugly. its hard to see traces of past friendship. ignoring each other is a norm. pretending that you dont see each other has become a mechanism for survival.

and thats so painful.

knowing that the smiles that you give could be returned with a blank stare. realizing that the person whom you considered as a friend doesnt see you as one anymore. it hurts to recognize the fact that youre no longer needed in their lives.

somestimes, the question is still there. why does it have to reach this point? why does it have to resemble this childish kind of misunderstanding? taking sides, either you're with me or against me.

getting used to this needs more time. but there's still that tiny bit of hope that one day, it will get better. restoring the friendship to what it was before is an illusion. but hoping for civility is not a dream.

meanwhile, thanks for the friendship.