my bosses and i were talking this afternoon about the recent pmap when they mentioned kidlat tahimik who went there in bahag. i told them about my high regard for the artist when my boss blurted out "gi you really like weird people, una you like maverick and ariel and now you like kidlat tahimik?". funny yet true, i find "weird" people interesting.
hr yuppies were once chatting about names that we would give our kids if ever we got one. most of them were opting for unique foreign-sounding names. i said if i would have girl born in june, i would name her aniwai, kalayaan or pilipinas and her nickname would be kalai. and if its a boy, i would name him after things youll find in nature. i also shared that i find the names of manila santos and the de guias interesting. they havent heard about the de guias so some of them thought i was joking and told me to name my kids, kulog, ulan, etc etc
last november 2007, i bought a shiny green maryjanes and wore it to the office almost every day. my friends of course noticed it because, one, its green and two, its not part of the prescribed color and style of shoes for a business setting. some liked it, some im sure found it, again, weird. sabi nga sa kin ni henyo "gi, lumalabas pagka weird mo". then just last august, i bought a yellow shoes so you could just imagine people's reactions. kaya lang masisira na sya. (sad face)
even with people, i find weird people interesting. most of my crushes were more on the "not your usual type of guy" whom girls would think, "ano nagustuhan mo jan?". i think its not the weirdness i see in them but the individuality, the extra dose of talent, their passion for whatever theyre doing and their free spirits.
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i was doing an interview with a resigning employee this afternoon who "reignited" my dream of studying abroad. while on the course of sharing his frustrations about his superiors, he mentioned about his passion for learning and teaching. he's a part-time faculty of economic in la salle and took his mba from diliman and his ma in development economics in manila, cross-registered in diliman and took ir 204 under yuzon. i also took the same class under the same professor and found out that well, its such a small world. he also mentioned about his short-term scholarship in nus and i shared about hoysi's scholarship and work there. he was encouraging me to give it a try but i said im still doubting my ability to be a graduate student in a foreign university. baka hindi ko kaya because im not that smart. its just that i love being in school and learning things. and he was telling me that its ok and to start by presenting papers in graduate fora like the one in asian center or in nus to deal with the insecurity issue because its my paper that i would be presenting anyway so i would know more about it than any other person in the audience.
talking about comfort zones. im afraid to try because im afraid of the uncertainties of an alternate future. i remember the same dilemma when i was still in my former job, thinking about resigning or not. salary-wise, i felt ok with whatever i was getting from my former job (only to realize now that i could get a lot more) but principles-wise, i felt like i no longer had any reason to be there.
now, the dilemma is between comfort and uncertainty. i love my company despite its many imperfections and its really hard to leave it. salary-wise, im earning enough although based from the info im getting from my interviewees, i know that i could earn more. ive developed a strong bond of friendship here. and most importantly, im assured of a free ticket yearly. i love it because it gives me a sense of security.
but at the back of my mind, if ive followed this same line of thinking before, then i wouldnt have had the chance of working here. so maybe, i should have the same line of thinking now.
hay...lets see. minsan, duwag lang talaga ako.
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